Hello 7951910, good to hear from you

First of all, how amazing to hear that after receiving two diagnoses, you chose to engage with therapy and really try. That deserves recognition and kudos

Therapy isn't always easy, and so stepping through that door and sticking with it takes some courage, and we just want to applaud that in you.
It's important to know that this site is designed for people without BPD, who have a person with BPD in their life (people like your wife, for example). That means that a lot of the tools, skills, and discussion will be centered on persons without BPD, and so won't adequately meet your unique needs.
Fortunately, there are great resources out there for persons who do have BPD -- you may have already heard of the
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), which runs free support groups across the USA. There's the BPD-specific organization called
Emotions Matter, which also offers free support groups, awareness campaigns and walks, and education and advocacy programs; could be worth a look.
Your wife might be interested in the NEABPD
Family Connections support program/class in conjunction with her therapy; I've taken it before, and it was very compassionate and sensitive, with good practice opportunities for new tools and skills.
Both of you could look at the full NEABPD site, and you yourself might find something helpful on their
Recovery Resources page? The NEABPD is a reputable site that treats all persons, with or without BPD, with respect.
7951910, although we aren't able to offer you the exact kind of support you need right now, we are rooting for you and your wife. Even though it may be a long process, the fact that both of you are in therapy is a good sign, and we want to encourage you to keep going, step by step.
Warmly,
kells76