Ex husband is in jail

[I Am Redeemed]

I made the mistake of going back to him and now he's in jail for assault and I am having to take four of my kids and move to a small town just outside the county line.

I have S14, S12, D11, and S9 with me. D17 lives with a friend from church who is a trauma therapist. D18 is in college in the town we're moving to.

The world turned upside down the past couple of weeks.

I'm in the same spot I was in when I first came here and I'm feeling all kinds of things about that. S9 was 2 when I first went through this.

[ForeverDad]

I'm sorry to hear your 'gotcha' from the past somehow had gotten past prior boundaries.  It can happen.  Don't feel bad about having to rebuild them.  You're dealing with "What IS".

I think it could be starting to happen to me too.  Nearly 20 years ago when I arrived here my marriage had imploded and I spent the next 8 years in and out of family court.  And it was all about custody and parenting.  Our child is grown now but still lives with me.  The strong boundaries have weakened since ex comes to visit him here, even cooks a meal, etc.  I've already had to say if ex is between homes she can't live here even temporarily, so I too see how boundaries can weaken over time.

[I Am Redeemed]

He was sober and I let him back into our lives. I was struggling to pay the bills and we ended up having to move in with him.

I guess just being away from him, I forgot how bad it can get.

And, of course, it never starts out as bad as it can get. That happens gradually, and the situation escalates

We don't have to get divorced again, and I have full custody of the kids.

CPS is involved and I am worried about his reaction when I put a protection order on him for the kids and me.