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For anyone who’s gone through it, did you have canned responses to controlling questions?
It might help to know the circumstances. are you going to have to continue cohabitating with him during the divorce process?
Do you think he might get violent? Knowing it's ending, could he escalate conflict out of a desperate desire to change the outcome?
He's probably going to treat anything you say as an "opportunity" for him to rewrite the script and get you to do what he wants, so the best option is not to play the game with him at all. Simply refuse to talk about it.
In my case, I didn't respond to anything she asked. For one thing, we were now, or shortly would be, in an adversarial proceeding in court.
Anything I said could and would be used against me! For another thing... why? This person was never honest or up front with me, and was extremely manipulative & nasty to me throughout our marriage. Why did I owe her
ANYTHING? And why did I think anything I said would help? She would badmouth me regardless of whether I gave her an answer or treated her fairly.
I think if you're not in the same room with them, you can just ignore them.
You could also just say something like "
It's over. I'm not talking about it. Nothing we say is going to change how this ends." Maybe you could offer something like "
After it's finalized, if I feel like talking about it, maybe then."
Keep the proverbial door shut. Don't give in to weaselly attempts to get something out of you... once you start talking, they'll start gaslighting, and the cycle starts again.
