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Author Topic: Wife and her affair partners baby  (Read 352 times)
SES
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332


« on: February 12, 2017, 02:12:17 PM »

Well, kids are with me for a few days.  I have them 50:50.  Had a text from my wife of 15 years to ask me to tell the kids that their brother (by her affair partner) arrived this afternoon.  What a wonderful life... .we are still married, she has just had a baby with her affair partner.  They recently ended up in a written agreement with cps regarding their behaviour towards my kids, and in incident of dv, all whilst he was drunk at 8am in the morning.
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Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2017, 03:14:35 PM »

Oh boy, so sorry. Mine had a baby with someone else too, you are not alone with that. It stinks. It sounds like you have more to come in dealing with her. Do you have a plan for any next steps for yourself and your kids? Her affair partner has been drunk around the kids? I have always heard that agreements usually say that a person cannot have someone they are not married to spend the night if the kids are in the house. I would think this would go both ways. Yet she has a baby with this one, not sure how that would work. Are you working with a lawyer?
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SES
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332


« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2017, 04:30:50 PM »

Thanks. Yes, I had a feeling this is a path trodden by many.

CPS made them sign an agreement that he doesn't drink around kids, and that they don't argue when kids are at home.  I don't feel happy with it, but there is little I can do.  

Lawyer suggested applying for more custody... .but I'm not sure I can cope with the enevitable blood bath and retaliation from her.  She is bad enough when she isn't provoked.  I realise I am doing well with 50 50.  The longer it goes on for, the harder it will be to have it taken away.
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Herodias
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2017, 05:23:06 PM »

I'm sorry... .it doesn't sound like he has followed the agreement already. Just be the better parent and let them know they are loved. Let them know how a home should be. One day they will appreciate you for it.
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Soulcrushed4
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 52


« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2017, 11:03:00 PM »

I'm so sorry that you and your kids have to go through this.

How are the kids handling the news of their siblings arrival?
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SES
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332


« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2017, 02:15:16 AM »

It isn't great.  Kids are excited about a new baby though, which is good.  Ex would prefer that she has kids more, or all the time.  CPS offered mediation, and during it she kept threatening to stop me seeing the kids, which isn't new at all.  I am still reeling from her latest false allegations to cps about me.  As such, she presents as a risk to me.
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