I'm new here

[partner-bpd]

Greetings. I'm new here.  My partner has erratic behavior and my therapist says it could be bpd. I'm here seeking understanding and validation of my experience through listening to others and hopefully (feeling safe enough) to share my own one day.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Under The Bridge]

Hello and welcome to the site   I would suggest first reading the many posts here - you'll find them informative and no doubt you'll be able to relate your own experiences. BPD follows a very repetitive script and we've all experienced the results so you're in sympathetic company. You'll also find out how to cope with the BPD outbursts and hopefully reduce the conflict.

If you'd like to write more you could tell us what you've experienced so far - or just feel free to 'rant' and get it off your chest. We're totally with you.

[Me88]

Hello and welcome to the site   I would suggest first reading the many posts here - you'll find them informative and no doubt you'll be able to relate your own experiences. BPD follows a very repetitive script and we've all experienced the results so you're in sympathetic company. You'll also find out how to cope with the BPD outbursts and hopefully reduce the conflict.

If you'd like to write more you could tell us what you've experienced so far - or just feel free to 'rant' and get it off your chest. We're totally with you.

Agreed. Share more if you're comfortable. I'm sure you'll be surprised to see that we've all experienced it. It's very surprising and validating to see you're not alone. Like The Bridge said, we're with you. This is a seemingly impossible journey. Vent.

[Pook075]

Yes, welcome to the family!  We say "family" because so many of us have shared very common experiences and so many of us show up here thinking that we're the only ones who have dealt with something like this.

It's no problem if you're not ready to share yet; there's no rules about that.  Take some time to read other threads in this category and see what resonates with you.  Then, feel free to ask a few direct questions like, "What do I do when my partner acts like this...."

Your story can come later and truthfully, many here can predict what you'll say after hearing just the basics.  Again, it's uncanny how similar our stories are and our shared experiences.

One final note- you're here to learn more about BPD, which is great!  This site serves a 2nd purpose as well though, and that's learning to place your own mental health 1st.  That's not me saying you have mental health problems, but we all deal with it to some degree when a loved one with BPD causes chaos in our lives.  This site will teach you to put yourself first because you can't fix your partner or get them into meaningful therapy. 

However, by focusing on your own mental health, you can be a better partner that's more equipped to deal with their dysfunction.  Make sense?

Also, could you give us a few basics?  How long have you been in this relationship?  How old are you/your partner?  Stuff like that plays a petty big factor in the advice you'll get.  For instance, a younger BPD in their 20's might have maturity and social cue challenges that you wouldn't see in a BPD in their 40's.  But that 40 year old could have entirely different traits for that age range.