Venting/help appreciate

[PathFinder1]

I have been a long time lurker on this board, and posted under another account I can't find. My husband is a recovering alcoholic (35+ years), depression, self diagnosed autism ( I believe this) and when he hears about BPD says that is him. He has periods of good times and bad times. Got frustrated trying to get diagnosed in system and that's it, so why try. Angry when frustrated. Example from this morning. We had some light snow last night, it is sunny today, so I cleaned up the driveway and sidewalk. We usually split this chore, but it was so little I did it so the sun would get to the blacktop. He is angry because he was looking forward to doing his part. I apologized. Now he is muttering to himself (just loud enough for me to hear) "I guess I just got up a half hour too late." "She didn't even ask me, why should I expect anything else." etc. Then I heard him say he woke up feeling stupid. This is his code for depressed. These are never directed at me, so not part of a conversation. Later he will accuse me of ignoring him and not talking to him.  I hang around doing stuff in case he might actually talk to me about it, but it is more likely to be a rant. How to handle this pattern?

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[SuperDaddy]

Hi PathFinder1,

Did you say that his rants of anger are never directed at you? If he is not hostile/aggressive, then this should be kind of easier to handle. You would just have to validate his feelings and slowly make him feel comfortable expressing himself in a constructive way. But to improve his self-image and self-worth, he would need professional treatment, I guess.

When you ask "how to handle this pattern," are you trying to help him or to help yourself? I mean, it's unclear if you are getting affected by this or not.