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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Creating a "Self-care Kit"  (Read 391 times)
bananas2
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« on: February 15, 2017, 01:28:04 PM »

We all know the importance of self-care, especially when having a r/s with a pwBPD. I think we all have those critical moments when the emotional pain gets to be too much & we grasp for anything that can help us in those moments.
Well, I have a chronic pain disorder which sometimes causes me excruciating pain "flares." It's really not unlike those unbearable times of emotional pain we suffer within our r/s with our pwBPD. Pain is pain - whether physical or emotional.

So I thought I'd share with you all a suggestion my therapist gave me to create a "self-care kit" for my pain flares, which I now also use to calm my emotional pain:
Take a box or other container (for me it's an antique tin from a late family member) & put items in it that soothe you. The idea is to have something to reach for in those moments of pain. Something you don't have to think about. A respite, a relief, a safety blanket - tailored from personal items that calm you.

I filled my kit with silly, fun distracting items: a small container of play-doh, a couple of stress balls, an incense stick in my favorite scent, a list of things I'm grateful for, a list of attributes I like about myself, some calming music & a list of funny websites to check out to make me laugh (my personal favorite is googling "goats screaming like humans".

I know this helps me a great deal. So just wanted to share with you all in hope that it will help.
If you decide to make a kit for yourself, please list some items you've put in it. I'm curious, and it might help others here too.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

-bananas2
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Tattered Heart
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« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2017, 03:24:22 PM »

That is an amazingly great idea! THis will really help you see the truth about yourself when our pwBPD says otherwise.
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oshinko maki
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« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2017, 04:51:46 PM »

Thank you for such a great idea for addressing pain whether physical or emotional!
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peacemountain

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« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2017, 05:18:10 PM »

This is such a great idea! I have a mental list of things I do when experiencing emotional pain, but the idea of a physical kit of good things excellent. I think I'll ask a few close friends that know what's going on to write notes of affirmation. What they love about about me. I'm going to put them in my kit and read them to myself after emotionally hurtful and degrading conversations. Thank you Once!
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