Her rage and No Contact

Hello.

My girlfriend who I have not heard from for 3 months told me early on that she had been institutionalized and diagnosed with BPD 9 years ago at the time of her divorce. I did not know how severe BPD was and shortly thereafter she told me about her father; that he was an often abusive alcoholic who sometimes never came home or brought his friends with him when he did and they drank and banged on the kitchen table all with long....scaring "me."

I subsequently researched daughters of alcoholic fathers and was astounded at the damage that a young female can undergo. It is important to also say she was likely a mistake as her next oldest sister was 9 at the time girlfriend (Margo) was born and also that she had told me her fatter was her "best friend."

So 3 months ago we were on our way to clean out her mother's house that had been sold. Her mother is 94 and in a nursing home and Margo is/was the executor of her will and deed.

Margo had recently purchased a newly built home which was a disaster. Margo is in her 60s and the driveway is 1/4 mile long and unpaved, a dirt road in a snow belt.The house itself is smaller than her incredibly beautiful condo located in a downtown ski resort. The garage is 25 yards from the house and it is a fire trap with unsealed but insulated walls and ceilings, in violation of ALL national codes.

On the way out the door to clean out mom's house she mentioned that she was worried her condo would not sell and she would not be able to fulfill the contract on her new home. I told that it had only been on the market for a week and not to worry it will be the first to sell as it is so beautiful and located in a PRIMO spot. And...I said' "Margo if the deal falls through, which it won't, I am not sure that house is right for you and I have some other ideas we can talk about later."

About an hour into our trip to her mom's she got agitated in the car about our upcoming vacation. I soothed her best I could by telling her I would gladly pay for the entire airfare. when we left my house I had given her a check for $200 which I owed her for the vacation.

We got close to her mom's house and went to a restaurant. I could tell by her face something was wrong but didn't know what to do except act nice and natural. We had dinner and she had 2 large glasses of wine and I was a little worried as she started to say things like she was going to change her last name to something bizarre. Suddenly she stood up over me and pointed down at me and said/screamed...."Nobody owns me for $200. All you Italians think you can own women. I am an independent woman and you can go ________ yourself."

It got much worse and lasted 30 to 45 minutes before I was able to get away from her. I had to take her phone when I was able to run because she would have likely called the police with some fabricated charge. Honestly, she had completely dissociated and was near "psychotic" in that she tried to run me down with her car.

I have sought and been in therapy and placed on Lexapro for last 2+ months and am doing well. I have read and continued to read about BPD and am confused as to no contact. I have thoughts and desires to reconnect. I want to completely heal and without that know I never will. I also have just in last few days become very angry at her which I never was.

Therapist goes just so far. She is a pHD and will not take on Borderlines anymore and simply says Margo is dangerous as she is so broken. Forget her.

OK. So that is good advice but I can't follow it. I am not afraid of Margo. I can handle anything she may throw at me. Can I reconnect and how?

Thanks



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