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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Can this be possible.  (Read 9 times)
Prouncer

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 8


« on: November 02, 2026, 01:08:04 AM »

She comes to visit. Spent a nice couple of days together. Decide to do a picnic. I let her pack the picnic at my place so I can’t be accused of controlling or not listening etc.( yes I’m an expert now at accommodating ) we drive to the beach singing and laughing …so far so good. Drive around. Looking where to set up. She suddenly turns to me and says. ‘ I don’t want to do this’. I know the tone, the energy, the emptiness and the look all too well. Annoyed but silently I drive home , empty the car. Day ruined. She leaves. Says she has to go. Says never wants to see me again. I tell her I can’t do this either.
A few weeks later she is back ( silly me) and I ask her about ruining  such a fun day. She doesn’t remember why she felt the way she did or what triggered it, didn’t care that it hurt and annoyed the heck out of me , but said her feelings are always right.  Then dismissed it as not important by her lack of interest in it. Like it was a trivial thing.
Is this what they do. This is bpd isn’t it ? She isn’t diagnosed. But I’m pretty sure she has it. A psychologist once told me you have to love them perfectly. In every way in their eyes. One percent not perfectly and you are done.
It make me feel I’m going mad.
Any advice or comments will be appreciated 
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