Need help getting along with my BP wife

[Coachers]

After we got married she has been acting like a demon... .arguing with me and putting me down. Not wanting me to succeed. Claiming I'm going to leave her. Not letting me learn new things.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Coachers,



I'm sorry to hear about your wife's behavior. Arguing and fielding put downs from someone you love is difficult and very discouraging.

You've found a great place for support. There are members here who understand what you are going through. And the site has tons of tools and resources that can make things better. There really is hope. 

How long have you been married? Do you have a good support system around you—friends, family, a counselor?

Keep posting, and let us know how we can best support you. That's what we're here for.

heartandwhole

[Tattered Heart]

Welcome to the board. Many of us have gone through the same accusations and/or are currently still going through our pwBPD worried about us leaving them. One of the most important things I've learned is that I can't begin to make things better until I stop making them worse. Oftentimes the way we respond to our pwBPD leaves them feeling like they are not heard or cared for, even if our intention is to do so. Learning validation is very helpful.

We have workshops on the left side of the page that can help teach new ways of communicating. Here is a link to one of our workshops on validation:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating