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Author Topic: Trauma over the dog, trod over all of my boundaries and drew Grandchild in  (Read 430 times)
Blueskyday
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« on: March 10, 2017, 05:09:25 PM »

Hi, my beautiful Grandchilds mum is BPD. Her mum kept saying she was getting a dog. Grandbaby was struggling to fit in at school. I knew it was because her mum wasnt being nurturing because she told me so. She got to be so distressed I blindly went and adopted a 9 month old pup. They both fell in love with her as did I.

At first all was ok but then the pup showed ussues from her past as she settled. I have Lupus and work from home. I got increasingly ill. I have to listen to my dtrs problems all of the time if I am to be able to spend time with the child. It wears me down. I asked my dtr if she would have the dog for a few days so I could recover. I got blow by blow accounts of how bad the dog is, identical to the ones when the baby was small. It was harder than coping with the pup. This inspite of her asking me to bring the dog at short notice on many occasions. If it was to help me then it was different.

Fast forward 2 x she made me collect the dog after reassuring me she could have her.

The dog was barking incessantly and her behaviour was out of control despite me being firm and kind, lots of walks and love etc. I explained to my dtr I am concerned that I have made a huge error . I admitted the dillema now that the child is bonded to the dog. She said she could not have the dog full time after saying she could. I did not make a snap decision but was honest with her about the serious effect on my health. I have been stressed nd exhausted for 4 months or so. I explained I may need to rehome the dog and if I do it has to be sooner than later

I explained to the child that the behaviour was making me sick and the barking at the tv was unexpected and could lose me my home.

My dtr says she wiĺl take the dog. So its all arranged. Child is happy... Dog starts barking when I am working and I casually ask. Can she take the dog 2 days before we decided as this daytime barking is new and I could lose my job.

Then the Avalanche... .Reams of messages about my ingratitude. I said forget it I will struggle on. Accusations of not being mindful of her needs. I am sitting working with a barking dog who jas kept me awake all night so I lose my patience quickly. She cant take the dog. I think I feel guilty as well because the dog adores me and this stresses me out.

Then she sends reams of messages telling me all about how I habe hurt her mental health etc etc. The extent of what I said was "Ohh Pleeeze take her, I am so worried about the barking" Ok, we will struggle on... I did make a joke about taking the dog to the shelter. This was responded to as though it was a serious death threat.

Then she decides she will get the dog. She tells me someone needs to take charge. I said do not come here today now after all of this upset. Let me calm down and I will bring the dog. There was more but too much to go into, basically her whole mental health situation is devastated because I asked her to let me take the dog and she is in full attack mode. I said I do not want my Grandchild to witness this uglyness. Plus I dont want the dog to leave me in this manner.

She insisted reams and reams of abuse followed. Threats to walk in and remove the dog if I wouldnt comply. I had to concede. I was done in by this point. She instructed me to get the dog on the lead and hand her over.

My poor Grandchild couldnt come in. The dog was removed and she didnt look at me (dtr) i was trying not to make a scene.

Next day was the little pups birthday . I was not allowed to go see her. Felt like I had been beaten up. Grandchild was confused. I broke down in tears.

I know the dog was my responsibility. I also know that I asked he to take her nicely, respectfully and didnt lose my S&^/ until the reams of abuse came whilst I was working and contending with a barking dog. Dtr insisted on rehoming the dog. I had decided that was what I had to do. I know I would have been responsible for the loss my Grandchild would feel but I couldnt keep going the way i was.  I love the little dog and didnt want her removed in this way. When they left I wept as though I had given a child away.

Was I wrong... I feel like she just didnt listen. I feel that she just walked all over my boundaries by not only ignoring me telling her not to come and allow me to calm down. But she removed the dog  by force. A plea for help became a direct attack on her in her mind. She ended up taking the dog. Now its all broken again
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« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2017, 07:32:38 AM »

Hi Blueskyday

I'm so very sorry to hear you've had to let your dog go and the issues you say raised for you and your daughter.   That's is tough.

Do you want your dog back with you, is that the plan? Some dogs bark and if I'm right is the key to the issue of your post, you are dealing with and your daughter will be dealing with from now, barking. While I'm not a dog expert (cat yes  Smiling (click to insert in post)) I wonder if you've explored local dog training, my sister many years ago had an over active dog who through the training they had together became happy, loving and content souls. Here in the UK there are pet charities who help dog owners at low/no cost, do you have any similar help locally?

Bullet: contents of text or email (click to insert in post) Other dog owners here may have good suggestions too.

WDx
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« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2017, 01:57:53 PM »

Hey Blueskyday  

Quote from: Blueskyday
She got to be so distressed I blindly went and adopted a 9 month old pup. They both fell in love with her as did I.

Sounds like there wasn't any mutual agreement before you got the dog?  Who was supposed to keep the dog (you, your daughter or joint ownership)?  Without mutual agreement regarding the dog, before the dog was acquired, the stage was set for drama.  

Sounds like you got in the middle of a drama triangle with your daughter and the dog.  Your mention of possibly losing your house, your job, stress over the dog, etc. sounds like your were laying a lot of   FOG (FEAR, OBLIGATION AND GUILT) onto your daughter.

I love animals and see how they can be beneficial for a child.  The other side of the coin is that animals can take a lot of effort to care for.  It is a risky decision to try and acquire a dog for someone else.  Certain breeds, sizes and temperaments are best for different situations.  As you discovered, there are consequences to being in a hurry and not thinking things through. Young dogs take a lot of attention and need training. Most dogs have some bad habits you have to manage and resolve, at some point.  It could be that a prior owner didn't socialize your dog properly and just let bad habits prevail.  
Quote from: Blueskyday
Was I wrong... I feel like she just didn't listen. I feel that she just walked all over my boundaries by not only ignoring me telling her not to come and allow me to calm down.

I think it is best to be honest, as that is how we can learn to not repeat a mistake. It would be good for you to examine your motivation for getting the dog.  Was it only about your granddaughter's problems with fitting in at school?  :)id you perhaps hope that by getting the dog, it might give you a better bond with your granddaughter or set the stage for you to see your granddaughter more?

I think it is possible that your daughter felt like you didn't respect some of her boundaries.  How would you have felt if the situation was reversed and your daughter acquired a dog and then used FOG to make you take the dog?

Sometimes, we mean well, but some actions (especially ones that are too spontaneous) can serve to make things worse instead of better.  The dog may need to go to a new home, where it can get the proper training and attention that it requires. (every pet is not suited for everyone) If you want a pet for your home, you have to take the responsibility for the pet and consider what limitations you personally have in regard to pets. Your daughter needs to be involved with picking out a pet that lives at her home.  

I don't mean to be harsh, but sometime, honesty can be helpful.     


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Blueskyday
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« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2017, 03:53:56 PM »

Thanks to you both for the replies. Its not about the dog. I think she felt my anxt at having to rehome her. She has behaved well apparently.

I totally get that my daughter felt obliged to take the dog. I was supposed to keep the dog. If I did fog it was on that day I asked her to take her early. I promise that I didnt fog her to take the dog from me. I explained that I had created tgis situation and had made a mistake. I found a rescue/adoption org and was contacting them within the month. I explained to my Grandchild that I had not acted wisely and that I was giving the dog a month. I would train her as best I could in that time.


That day I was in a panic because she wouldnt stop barking and I just couldnt cope. My dtr had insited on taking her so I asked could I bring her early as I was so worried by this sudden barking in the day. This led to the triangle. I was made redundant yesterday and rehired as my company are no good. Every week my job depends on how much I sell the week before. I am sick and almost bankrupt. People were being sacked by the handful the last couple of weeks. Everything got so on top of me, being here alone working from home and coping just got too much. I guess sometimes listening to her problems on top of everything else makes me resentful of her. I realise I need to form my boundaries again.

I really did get the dog because the child was struggling and I know that giving up the dog would have made that worse. I guess I didnt/dont like myself very much for having created the situation. I guess my daughter feels a resentment towards me too.

I am not a Person to refuse to admit where they are wrong.

Think the problem with dealing with a child with BPD is its hard to see when they are right. The way she behaved wasnt right but she does have a point. This BPD thing is emeshed in all of her communications and I was clouded by this. The response, reams and reams of messages were not fitting to the circumstance

Sometimes I guess things are just what they are. I am fallible as the next person.

I do appreciate your candor
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Naughty Nibbler
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« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2017, 06:23:40 PM »

Blueskyday   
Quote from: Blueskyday
Its not about the dog. I think she felt my anxt at having to rehome her. She has behaved well apparently.

Has the dog been re-homed or is the dog at your daughter's home? You say the dog is behaving better?   

Quote from: Blueskyday
Every week my job depends on how much I sell the week before. I am sick and almost bankrupt. People were being sacked by the handful the last couple of weeks. Everything got so on top of me, being here alone working from home and coping just got too much. I guess sometimes listening to her problems on top of everything else makes me resentful of her. I realize I need to form my boundaries again.

Sounds like you are under a lot of pressure.  Not feeling well and dealing with job pressures can get the best of you. 

Have you had some success with boundaries with your daughter in the past?  Perhaps with restricting the conversations about her problems in some way?  Does she try to call and complain during your work hours?

Quote from: Blueskyday
Think the problem with dealing with a child with BPD is its hard to see when they are right. The way she behaved wasnt right but she does have a point. This BPD thing is emeshed in all of her communications and I was clouded by this. The response, reams and reams of messages were not fitting to the circumstance
I think it can be easy to forget that someone with BPD will most likely overreact when stressed or feel that their buttons have been pushed in some way.  Perhaps you had a bad combination of both of you being stressed out at the same time. 

Quote from: Blueskyday
Sometimes I guess things are just what they are. I am fallible as the next person.
We all are fallible and make mistakes.  We need to learn from them, do some mending when possible and move forward with greater experience and knowledge.

I hope things work out and that your granddaughter ends up with a great pet.  If not the dog you choose, perhaps a different dog or a different animal.   

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Blueskyday
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« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2017, 10:58:52 AM »

Thanks so much to all who responded. The dog is with my daughter. She asked me if I wanted to take the Grandchild out, just us 2 on Sat and I did. The dog is behaving and I was able to visit.

I called her today and asked outright if I had fogged her about the dog. The response was guarded which saddened me. It seems that I have been a bit unpredicatble for the last couple of months/month. My new GP has reduced my anxiety medication out of the blue ( think I am in withdrawal and Iam going through menopause. I think all of this on top of dealing with the dog issues and work issues has changed my behaviour. I have also had a collegue who got my tel number and lives near me... 3 doors down who has called me up every day 11 times in one day. She talks for 2 hrs at a time. She appears to be a bit of a bully. These particular group of people  I work with (in sales) are dog eat dog people. They are not good people who respect other peoples boundaries. I had asked her to text and she ignored every hint I made and every direct request. Maybe I projected a bit of this onto my Dtr. Just maybe their influence has altered my behaviour. This was not typical of me.

A year ago I was told I may have breast cancer. I literally got up and walked out refusing to let them do any further tests. I am a widow and watched my parner be cut, poisoned and burned. I will never forget that and couldnt go through that. Plz note I know this is a personal choice and respect the choices of others. I just knew whatever the outcome I cannot travel that path.

I think this anniversarry month as well threw me over the edge. At the back of my mind I dont know if I am dying and I already live with RA and Lupus.

I apologised to my Dtr for my behaviour and she cried. She isnt holding a grudge. I have explained that if I seem out of sorts not to communicate with me until I swing back round. The job is very bad and ethically foggy. I guess I am at a crossroads with almost everything in my life.

I do appreciate the honesty of replies becuase we arent always right. Our somewhat broken children are not always wrong. I needed to realise that and see my own failings. Having said that I recognise that this is not usual for me and be thankful for that at least. I have to forgive myself, support her with the dog and the Grandchild and be thankful that she has accepted my apology.

Much love to all x

I
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« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2017, 01:29:35 PM »

Hi again Blueskyday:   

Quote from: Blueskyday
The dog is with my daughter. She asked me if I wanted to take the Grandchild out, just us 2 on Sat and I did. The dog is behaving and I was able to visit. 
That's great news!     I'm so glad the dog is at your daughter's house and that things are going better with the dog. 

Quote from: Blueskyday
I apologised to my Dtr for my behaviour and she cried. She isnt holding a grudge. I have explained that if I seem out of sorts not to communicate with me until I swing back round. The job is very bad and ethically foggy. I guess I am at a crossroads with almost everything in my life. 

I'm so happy that the situation with your daughter turned around.  It was brave and vulnerable for you to apologize to your daughter and open up about what was going on with you. Good to hear you had a good result.   Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Quote from: Blueskyday
My new GP has reduced my anxiety medication out of the blue ( think I am in withdrawal and Iam going through menopause. I think all of this on top of dealing with the dog issues and work issues has changed my behaviour. I have also had a collegue who got my tel number and lives near me... 3 doors down who has called me up every day 11 times in one day. She talks for 2 hrs at a time. She appears to be a bit of a bully. These particular group of people  I work with (in sales) are dog eat dog people. They are not good people who respect other peoples boundaries. I had asked her to text and she ignored every hint I made and every direct request 

Gosh, I'm sorry you have so much going on in your life.  Reducing your dose of anxiety meds can have an impact on you and hormonal fluctuations can cause havoc. It's understandable that you are on edge.

The lessons on the website are good tools to even use with people we work with.  Keep that in mind when dealing with coworkers.  If you haven't read about BOUNDARIES, you may want to check it out or reread it.  Boundaries are for your benefit and you have to be the one to enforce them.  Your coworker won't respect your boundaries, so you need to enforce them.  What are some ways you can limit interactions with your coworker?  Can you decide how much time you will allow to interact with her on a given day?  Perhaps you ignore her calls, texts and emails when they arrive and hold off on responding.  Address them at the end of your work day (after you have accomplished certain goals for the day).  If you have a duty (by nature of your employer's mandate) to respond to her more frequently than once a day, then figure out what is best for you and minimize the time it takes to interact with her. 

One approach people use in the workplace to maximize their time, is to not be too fast in responding to emails.  If you see something that is urgent/important, then that needs to be answered ASAP.  The majority of emails, if left unanswered, will be dealt with in some other way (the problem went away, someone else answered it, there was no need for a prompt response, etc.).  The people who try to be too "people pleasing" and too helpful to everyone, can lose in the end. Your productivity and job performance needs to take priority.

Using some of the communication skills can help you with your boundaries with your coworker.  Perhaps start with just defer her calls, voicemails, emails and texts.  If you decide that you want to schedule some time in your day for interaction with the coworker, you could opt to politely indicate that you can schedule some interaction with her at a given time.

Quote from: Blueskyday
A year ago I was told I may have breast cancer. I literally got up and walked out refusing to let them do any further tests. I am a widow and watched my parner be cut, poisoned and burned. I will never forget that and couldnt go through that. Plz note I know this is a personal choice and respect the choices of others. I just knew whatever the outcome I cannot travel that path. 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your partner and what you went through. That had to be very difficult  I just want to make one statement, then I will respect your wishes

The technology and treatment options improve from year to year and everyone's experience isn't the same.  When things are caught early, the fix can be simpler.  Sometimes, when we address a "maybe" situation, if we go on and get a biopsy or test, we find out that things are okay.  By not checking on something, we tend to ruminate on the worst case situation and can cause our self more stress than needed. 

Quote from: Blueskyday
Our somewhat broken children are not always wrong. I needed to realise that and see my own failings. Having said that I recognise that this is not usual for me and be thankful for that at least. I have to forgive myself, support her with the dog and the Grandchild and be thankful that she has accepted my apology.

Well stated Blueskyday!  Good job!   Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Do you have some healthy things you do to manage your stress? (ie. mindfulness practice, meditation, exercise, breathing exercises, etc.).  It would be good to have some healthy options to help you deal with less anti-anxiety meds.
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Blueskyday
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« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2017, 03:16:48 PM »

Hi again and thanks for taking the time to respond. This woman got hold of my number, personal mobile. I have no need to speak to her outside of work. Unfortunately she lives 3 doors down from me. In 13 yrs of living here I have never seen her as shes around a corner. I tried not answering as I got caught up in a 2 hrs long one way conversation.

 She then started leaving voicemails and on Friday actually called me 2x at 7.15 am. We had to go into the office ( I work from home) and saw her. She said she had come to my home to "give me a ride to work". This is not normal. She has called me 11 x in one day, calls me 10 mins before we start work. I had no idea how to shake her. I decided to switch off the voicemail and just not answer her calls from now on. I think she will turn nasty when she realises shes been rejected outright and the problem is she just happens to be my neighbour. Her conversations are one way, negative and gossipy. I feel incredibly unerved whenever I have spoken to her no matter how long for.

I have worked alone from home since Nov. I think the isolation has had a detrimental effect on me overall. I got the dog in Dec. It was a kneejerk reaction, uncharacteristic of me. The dog further isolated me and the broken sleep from her waking me, the constant need for attention etc just plain wore me out. I did give the dog lots of love and never took it out on her. She was very happy to see me and even kind of asked me to take her home . She put her little mouth on the handles of my bag... .I feel so guilty in general and I do miss her. What a mess i have made... .

With regard to the cancer thing. Hmmm! Ive looked at it from every angle and there is no way I will proceed with whatever is on offer to me. I met with a surgeon who even confessed that my theory they cant distingush slow growing tumora from fast growing ones following biopsy is correct. Time will tell but yes it is weighing heavily on me. I was coerced into the tests and wont be coerced again.

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« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2017, 04:57:28 PM »

Hey Blueskyday:    Being cool (click to insert in post)

You are going to need to be consistent with boundaries with your neighbor.  Perhaps you might want to try drafting something in advance.  Just prepare a  BIFF RESPONSE (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm).

Advise her once with something like, "I work from home, so I have a need to focus on work only during the hours of _____________.  The only way I can get my work done is to not socialize during my work hours.  I thank you in advance for your understanding." You may have already done something similar in the past.  Inform her once more with the BIFF response and then consistently enforce your boundary (without fail).  During work hours, you ignore her phone calls, voice mails, texts, emails and even if she appears at your door.

You can, then, decide how you want to handle it beyond that.  If you want to socialize with her than do so, but don't feel like you are held hostage and obligated to talk to her for hours at a time if you don't want to socialize with her.  Unfortunately, many of us have problem neighbors.  Some of them won't ever respect our boudaries and may end up not liking us.  We have to do what we need to do for our own sanity and welfare.

If you have an option to periodically go into an office environment, with your current job, perhaps that is something you might enjoy.  It can be very isolating when you work totally from home.

Don't feel guilty about the dog.  It sounds like the dog is happy with your daughter and you can visit.  Perhaps at some point in the future, after some thought and research, you might find a more docile and suitable pet for you. Perhaps an older dog, who is a quiet couch potato, or some other animal.


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Blueskyday
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« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2017, 05:26:59 PM »

I only know this woman because she came to work for the same company I did. We both qork from home
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Blueskyday
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« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2017, 05:34:33 PM »

Lost my post

Thanks again for your responses. I thought I might get a verbal bashing. I plan to refuse to answer the calls. I only know her from meeting her in the office then she got my number and the stalking started... .weird. this has badly affected me too. Time to take control of my boundaries. I slept from 10pm last night till  2 pm today. I am exhausted.

Thanks for being out there x
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« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2017, 03:28:35 PM »

Hi Blueskyday

I'm glad you were able take steps forward with your dog and your daughter appreciated you explaining the situation from your point of view is a great step.

It’s no wonder you are exhausted and hope gaining some order, boundaries in place brings you more relief. 

How are you progressing with your co-worker/neighbour, I understand how badly this has affected you, just think how great you'll feel having taken control and the peace and balance it will bring you.  Many years ago I had a neighbour (a psychotherapist) who overstepped my boundaries/her wellbeing – all take and no giving, emotionally manipulative that I take on her responsibility for her young daughter, it was not that I did not want to help out occasionally – as we parents do, it was the fact that she’d phone many and every day with last minute requests as though I was her child minder – she’d left her husband and was hoping I’d be the replacement     I stopped answering the phone as you plan to and when I did answer the phone I repeatedly said sorry I/we have plans.  It worked!  I’m not clear what your neighbour wants from you, is she in distress, or lonely, have you worked out the reason for her uncomfortable behaviour?

As Naughty Nibbler says BIFF, be prepared and crystal clear as often the case some people need clear communication and clarity from us to ‘hear/listen’ to be able to gain back their responsibilities and balance.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

WDx
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« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2017, 02:27:29 PM »

Hi again, I have solved the issue with the co worker. She, unbelievably called me when we were both working? We work on an automatic dialler and both should have been on the phones. I was! She had thought I had finished and left her work to call me. I rejected her call and emailed her asking if I was mad or did she call? I was incredibly formal and short. She has gotten the message and does not address me in the chat window. I am greatly relieved.

 I knew she would turn sour when she realised I didnt want her advances. Had I let her in more I have no doubt things would have been worse. I do not know what she wanted other than to pass the time. She talks about herself and I was unable to interject. She makes a fortune at work and doesnt seem unhappy. People don't really like her. I listen to her calls and she bullies and tricks elderly vulnerable people into buying our product. The boss turns a blind eye as she is the top seller. Of course she is!

Things with my Dtr are ok. We have made up I am glad to say. The dog is ok but misses me  ohh the guilt
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« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2017, 02:30:10 PM »

WD, how can these people be so self serving? I am glad you managed to solve the problem. Not picking up the phone does work. I also removed the answer machine function.
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