My over obsession and why?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

   I hate him I love him? What the hell is wrong with me.why can't I be alone.  I can't stand him yet I can't be wo him.

[Ashlyngrace]

   I hate him I love him? What the hell is wrong with me.why can't I be alone.  I can't stand him yet I can't be wo him.

[Larmoyant]

Hi Ashlyngrace and welcome to BPD Family   It sounds like you're conflicted and hurting and I can completely relate to what you wrote . When you’re ready let us know a little more about what’s going on. We can help.

[mevz]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiQIc7fG9pA

This song was literally my life when my BDDexbf found a back up gf after he realized that we couldn't end up together. He didn't have feelings for her but he was dragging her along while asking me to marry him at the same time. It was just so messed up! Everything about him was. He had no clue what he wanted.
But trust me it gets so much better and you will reach a point of indifference. I heading that way. I def don't want him back anymore.

[infjEpic]

  I hate him I love him? What the hell is wrong with me.why can't I be alone.  I can't stand him yet I can't be wo him.

We all felt like this once.
It feels as tho you're losing your mind.
But the fact is - If you can survive a BPD relationship, then you can thrive outside it.

You won't believe that yet tho.
It takes time to heal. And it's not easy. But we can help guide you. That makes it easier.

This is a good workshop on dealing with Ruminations:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=103396.0

Have you tried meditating or a gratitude journal?

[lovenature]

Welcome Ashlyn

The cycle of these relationships creates a very strong bond. Back in the summer of 2014 I felt the same as you, when I started learning about the disorder I was able to make sense of things. In January of 2015 I found this site and spent many hours reading through the posts starting with the oldest ones.
Learning enough and staying NC I got to the point of never wanting to go back.