Finally Lost It

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Today I finally lost my temper over my exBPDw texting me demanding fairness with every little thing to do with co-parenting.  I know she is right but the irony of someone who treated me and my family so very horribly for so many years demanding fairness became too much.  I had a short letter I had written that helped me talk about my anger toward her (unresolved/unsaid things as I never ever was cruel or mean or "honest" with her about those feelings)... .and I put it in a text and hit send.

I know it will go right over her head because she won't even remember having done most of the stuff--and will be in denial about everything else--but I hope it doesn't do more damage than good.  I'm hoping it is something I just needed to do to help me get through my anger.

[Torched]

Today I finally lost my temper over my exBPDw texting me demanding fairness with every little thing to do with co-parenting.  I know she is right but the irony of someone who treated me and my family so very horribly for so many years demanding fairness became too much.  I had a short letter I had written that helped me talk about my anger toward her (unresolved/unsaid things as I never ever was cruel or mean or "honest" with her about those feelings)... .and I put it in a text and hit send.

I know it will go right over her head because she won't even remember having done most of the stuff--and will be in denial about everything else--but I hope it doesn't do more damage than good.  I'm hoping it is something I just needed to do to help me get through my anger.

[bunny4523]

danger danger will robinson... .

I think you will be ok because this too will pass.  Sometimes it feels better to lash out and give them a little bit back.  I think whatever helps you get through it is fine.  I tend to lose at this game because what I get back in the response makes my head spin and really drains me.  So I tend to take out all emotion and only respond to the facts/issue at hand.  But still that isn't fool proof.

Another thing I found is letting them ramble on and on... .and when they start to slow down.  I say "ok so what do you want moving forward?"  that way they are tired out and forced to summarize their own rant or pick just one.   It works most of the time and then I only have one thing to focus on rather than the 50 complaints about me I just heard.   

Hang in there, it's really hard when there are children involved.  Have you checked out the board for co-parenting?  might be helpful for you.

Bunny