Hi everyone, I'm new here.

[Crunchie]

Hi everyone,

Found my way here from the "Stop walking on eggshells" book and thought I would give this ago. I have (I think) a BPD/NPD mother, who had a pretty traumatic life, also probably with some codependence issues for good measure. Since I've gotten older, (I'm in early 20s) in the last 6 years our relationship has been strained as I realised that things weren't normal. I've had a bit of counselling through University, still looking to get some ongoing for support.

I'm hoping to feel some validation and "me too" moments here, be understood, gain some feeling of control and get better at dealing with this... And learn from you guys. Also hopefully I can be of some help or comfort to others too.

I hope I did that right!
Warm regards,

Crunchie

[Harri]

Hi Crunchie and welcome!  This site is a great place to land when looking for information, understanding and support.  What sort of behaviors does you mother exhibit that are troubling?

I hope you come back and share more of your story.   

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Crunchie:  
I found my way here from a reference in the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells" as well.  Several of us have.  Sorry for the trauma your mom has caused in your life.  I think it is good that you are in therapy and figuring things out while in your early 20's   (the earlier the better).  

I'm hoping to feel some validation and "me too" moments here, be understood, gain some feeling of control and get better at dealing with this...  

You will definitely find validation and "me too" moments  .  

Have you done any work on Boundaries or communication skills in therapy?  Are there some current issues that you want to set some BOUNDARIES with?

We look forward to hearing more of your story.  

[Aug88]

Hi Crunchie,

I'm 28 and have got to the same point as you. I feel we may be the lucky ones to have realised in our 20's. I'm not sure about you, but I feel extremely guilty thinking my Mum has a personality disorder?

I'm at the stage I really need help understanding how to set boundaries with my Mum, so she can't effect my emotions so much anymore. I've not read the book you mentioned. Would you recommend it?

After convincing her to come to counselling with me, she stormed out after the 4th session. Counselling was my last resort at having a "normal" relationship with my Mum. She is now back to blaming me for "making her feel like a bad Mum" etc.

How are you coping?