BPD Just found out my wife has BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've never used social media and obviously have never posted anything in my life. This is all new to me. I just found out that my wife has BPD. This is both a relief and a scary thing. I have done more research in the last week on the subject than most therapists probably will in a life time. Incredibly, I found out by reading the life changing book all of you have probably read "Stop Walking onEggshells". This book showed up at my house about a year and a half ago. My wife and I don't know where it came from or who mailed it. She got mad and thought that I ordered it because anybody close to her always joked that they have to walk on eggshells around her. So, she figured I sent it. As things have become worse between us and the arguments get more abusive, I couldn't figure out what to do. I happened to notice the book in our office last week and decided to read it. I had never heard of BPD. I was floored just a few pages into the book. It not only described my wife 100%, but it very well described my feelings and the hell that I have been going through. But more importantly, it taught me the hell that she is going through. I will do anything to help my wife out of her hell. Anyway, I'm not sure if this is the proper first post, but here it is anyway. This website said the first step is your first post. I'm not much into getting outside help for anything, but I'll do anything to help her out. Thanks for your time.

Steve

[Desperate Steve]

I've never used social media and obviously have never posted anything in my life. This is all new to me. I just found out that my wife has BPD. This is both a relief and a scary thing. I have done more research in the last week on the subject than most therapists probably will in a life time. Incredibly, I found out by reading the life changing book all of you have probably read "Stop Walking onEggshells". This book showed up at my house about a year and a half ago. My wife and I don't know where it came from or who mailed it. She got mad and thought that I ordered it because anybody close to her always joked that they have to walk on eggshells around her. So, she figured I sent it. As things have become worse between us and the arguments get more abusive, I couldn't figure out what to do. I happened to notice the book in our office last week and decided to read it. I had never heard of BPD. I was floored just a few pages into the book. It not only described my wife 100%, but it very well described my feelings and the hell that I have been going through. But more importantly, it taught me the hell that she is going through. I will do anything to help my wife out of her hell. Anyway, I'm not sure if this is the proper first post, but here it is anyway. This website said the first step is your first post. I'm not much into getting outside help for anything, but I'll do anything to help her out. Thanks for your time.

Steve

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[doublejeopardy]

Me too. Everything you just wrote. We are not alone after all! I'm also a newbie and having a lot of trouble getting my husband to slow down and think things through before reacting in ways that damage our relationship, cost him another job, snatch defeat from a very promising (so far) custody motion, etc. Heartbreaking. Folks here can help, I'm sure of it.

[Fie]

Hello Steve 


Welcome !

I hope informing yourself about BPD will put you in a more comfortable position in your marriage.
Don't forget that you are the most important person in your life ! While reading about BPD, don't forget to also read about codependency and you might want to think about the reasons why you were attracted to a BPD partner in the first place.

I am wondering how the book ended up at your place... .are other people living with you and your wife ?


Fie

[Desperate Steve]

Fie,

Nobody lived with us when the book showed up. I'm not sure who mailed it to us, although maybe it was God himself.!
Obviously it was sent by somebody who knows her very well. She's high functioning so most people wouldn't have a clue what I am going through.

Steve

[Fie]

Do you think it was your wife herself ?

[Desperate Steve]

It wasn't her. She exploded when it showed up. She immediately blamed me. I had no idea that she had BPD or what the book was about.