High Conflict Relationship: Tools to Step Aside

[Clara Louise]

Hello!

This is my first post here.  I am grateful to be here.  I want to find my voice here and better understand how to stay centered and out of conflict with my SO.

I have been in denial for a very long time.  I had a lot invested in my hopes for a family.  I was an only child and I did not know my father.
I married a man with many BPD traits; it's all so confusing and distressing.

Over the years, I became depressed.  My resilency was at an all time low.  Through much hard work, I have not experienced significant depression in several years.  But I do have relationship fatigue.

Clara Louise

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Clara Louise:   

We are glad that you joined the community.  It has to be a big relief to have a remission in your depression!  So sorry that your partner is BPD and that you have relationship fatigue.

There are several links to helpful lessons in the right-hand margin.  A good place to start is with the "Basic Tools".  Setting boundaries and using a strategy to not invalidate (and strategically validating) can be helpful.

You can't change your partner.  The only thing you have control over is the way you interact with your partner and the way you react.

What confuses you the most right now.  What distresses you  or contributes to your relationship fatigue?

We look forward to hearing more of your story.