It never stops

[Blue Park]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post in or where is best as I've never even been in a relationship with this person who by all accounts appears to have all the behaviours and traits of someone with BPD and others agree.

I interacted with someone a few times on a general topical discussion website. We appeared to share some things in common and it seemed some mutual interest was developing between us. In hindsight, I believe I had been idealised first and subsequently painted black/devalued.

I never disclosed my name to them but from little snippets of information I had posted on the website, they managed to figure out my identity and obviously discovered my phone number or guessed my email address. My mobile phone was hacked into and extremely personal sensitive information was stolen from everything on my phone including emails, notes, chat histories, photos etc. What followed was a relentless daily, non-stop harassment, smear campaign with all my personal information put up on the internet and the discussion website, and twisted/distorted in a sickening way. I understand that personal information and private intimate photos on my phone may have also have been sent to various contacts on my phone and chat apps.

At times this person has tried to indicate some remorse but it seems very much always about their own sense of shame and self-pity, about their own pain and hurt rather than guilt about how they have seriously violated me. I understand they may be in therapy and I believe from what they previously wrote on the discussion website that they have been in and out of various therapies for years. It's possible they have never been diagnosed with BPD and therefore may not be getting the right form of therapy but others agree with me their profile does sound very much like BPD based on the information I do know about them. There seems to be some substance abuse issues there and during those brief periods of remorse have somewhat hinted at feeling suicidal because of their messed up life as they referred to it. They have also admitted that I never even did anything to hurt them but will then revert back to the same behaviour over and over again.

I've been dealing with this situation for over 6 months now and he truly is the most poisonous, nasty, cowardly, hate-filled individual I have every encountered. There have been some indirect threats a few times around wanting to physically assault me but have equally said that they would be terrified if they ever even met me in person. So far it has all been venomous poison spewed out from behind a keyboard. I foresee that they might continue into the future and try to sabotage and ruin a possible business opportunity I'm looking at if they were to discover I am involved in it.

The fact they have hinted a few times that they do feel suicidal at times,  I suppose really I am asking is it wrong of me to sometimes feel I wish they would do it. Is very difficult to have sympathy for someone like that even though at times I try to rationalise it by thinking they possibly had a difficult life but so have I as well. Yet I could never do to another human being what he has done to me. It seems he feels that his pain and hurt is greater than everyone else's so everyone must therefore suffer because of it.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Blue Park,



What an upsetting situation. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, and can understand your feelings very well. It's difficult to have sympathy for someone when they are acting so vindictively. I'm glad you reached out for support.

When you can, tell us more about the status of your situation:

Are you still in contact with his person?

Have you notified the police about his actions on the Internet, through the website, etc.?

heartandwhole