Feeling totally spent

[Hopelessinar]

   this is my first post,hoping to find some kind of support system somewhere like my titles reads I am totally emotional spent have been with my husband for twelve years , watched like a spectator the life I had built previous to this relationship be torn apart,friends since preschool be attacked then finally leave (don't blame them) lost jobs not just his but mine as well because of his actions throwing fits in my work place calling my work place over and over ,I'm always cheating(his words) any day I can be a soul mate or a whore he gets angry over anything and goes into fits takes and breaks my things threatening to call my grandmother and upset her , had two older children from a previous relationship they moved in with there father he was abusive to them as well ,one no longer sees me at all ,I feel like a complete failure as a mother, I have wanted to leave so many times but his threats are not just threats these are not bluffs but what he will do. Now looking back I should have just let the pieces fall where they may but out of fear and embarrassment I stayed now all there is left is my grandmother I turned 39 this year and feel like this it o have to do something or just die.there are  days I can see the improvement but there is always setbacks ,it's just like the rug being pulled out from under you any given moment. Would just like to know if anyone else has had similar issues with someone with borderline personality disorder. Thank you for reading.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

Hi Hopelessinar



I'm sorry for what brought you here but I'm glad you're with us. I think that you'll quickly realize that there are many parallels to what you described and what the other members, myself included, have experienced in our relationships. We are here to support one another because we "truly get it." I'm sure if you keep posting and reading you will find it helpful.

What happened recently to bring your here?

Could you expand on what you meant when you said:

I have wanted to leave so many times but his threats are not just threats these are not bluffs but what he will do.

Learn all you can about BPD. There are workshops on the boards that give some good practical pointers on how to deal with communication, rages, etc., that will minimize the behaviour of someone with BPD. The articles are also very informative. The skills have proven successful for some of the members here.

I believe you will be greatly comforted by the support here and the fact that we really understand what you are going through. We've all been there to varying degrees. Take care of yourself. We will look out for future posts from you.