Effects of sexual abuse

[bus boy]

I seem to be driven to find answers after my horrific encounter with my Xw. Was it me? Is she disordered? It's the main occupant of my brain. What can sex abuse do? I've posted that in every aspect of Xw life she is a stand up well respected citizen. Behind closed doors she is a different person or at least was with me. sex abuse effects everyone different. Xw is exemplary at work, she was a fantastic student in school, never in trouble, never ran the roads, takes very good care of her self, pays her bills, has spotless credit, owns a very nice home, takes nice vacations, does everything extra normal. She hates her cousin who brought out the big secret of sex abuse in the family, I know the whole family, there was suicide, alcohol abuse, lots of disfunction but Xw didn't get caught up in her extended family's disfunctional. Sometimes you have to separate to help your self. I would think Xw would or should be more angry with her mother, she's the one who knowingly exposed her children to a molester. Xw has nothing but pure hate for her cousin. After the abuse came out Xw severed all ties with her extended family. She made no effort to extend a helping hand, maybe that's why she got so crazy with me as our r/s advanced. When I had a bad emotional break down when we were married she walked away from me with ease.

[Idsrvt2]

My X said he was sexually abused by his father and also raped and hung during a photo shoot (I'm not sure if that one is true). But on our last date he brought up again how he lost his virginity early because of his father.
He doesn't take baths, and has no shower curtain and showers with a gun.

For my x this made him very paranoid around me , supposedly his sister is very protective of him and told him I would hurt him... not sure if that is true.

Mine left me during a difficult time I'm having as well... .I can't remember the site I was on, I think it may have been a blog where the blogger wrote about sexual trauma and BPD.
Oddly my x did not ever post of that on a site we are both on last nite I looked thru old postings... .but yet it was almost always mentioned daily to me.
Once I went to touch his hair and he flinched... said the last time someone touched it was when he was hung .
One of his last texts to me was that he never felt comfortable around me and feared me... .I told him he fears everyone ... which is true.
IMO it is not you, if your Xwife experienced sexual abuse it can have lasting damage as the brain can only handle so much trauma,
I have similar questions myself why does he not hate his mom for allowing the father to molest him?   The mother didn't mention the abuse when I msg her.
Supposedly I was going to meet them all in May and he said his sister would tell me what the father did to them... .that's how much all this affected my X.    I mean there it was a fundraiser for cancer , Andy he thought his sis would tell me if the abuse.  His mom was so happy he found someone and I did meet them in court st the PO hearing.

So that is my experience on what sexual abuse can do to a person.

My x is able to deliver mail daily even still on my route , yet is afraid to be out in public and is a recluse.  They hide it very well