It is killing me

[UnforgivenII]

I remembered... .
It was the 28th of December. I went to pick up his female "best friend" because as many or you already know, he did not drive. I now think that his driving licence was blocked. I was the taxi driver.
Anyway. When she arrived (she is my daughter's age) he took her hands into his and smiled. They just held hands smiling from the car window.
Then during the journey she talked about her job. She works in a bar as she is an out of course University student. She told about the way she made her boss "pay". Remember, my ex and her were two very extreme left Wing activists (It is complicated to explain if you do not live in my town. It is the town where communism was born in Italy) so the boss had to pay. She poured more wine, for example, and she brought home bottles.
You cannot Imagine how much he praised her. You cannot. The laughs.
And me. The silent taxi driver...
I have raised a son who refuses to use programmes and apps without paying for the licence and is laughed at by his friends for this reason. I never stole anything in my life.
But she was perfect.
And I am not.

It is killing me.

[UnforgivenII]

He had already started to not touch me at all' at that stage. When I rang his door he did not even show up. He opened the door and mind his business like I did not exist.

[Sadly]

Hey Sweetheart
He is not killing you, he is killing everyone else he comes into contact with and himself. He sounds as nasty as my ex and you are worth so much more. Thank you for helping me through these last few awful days, you gave me strength with the fierceness of your defence of me and hopefully today I feel a little stronger, the badness is slowly passing. Use some of your strength on yourself now, every one here has arms around you just as you all did for me.
Lots of ❤️
Sadly x

[Larmoyant]

And me. The silent taxi driver...

.He opened the door and mind his business like I did not exist.

.

Unforgiven ,  it sounds like they shut you out as if it were just the two of them in the car. That was a cruel, cruel thing to do and I know what this feels like  . I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. It might take some time for you to process all that has happened, but you will get through it and as Sadly says we are all right here for you. We understand your pain. Sending you much love and support 

[UnforgivenII]

Sadly   if you come to Italy you have a place to stay and a friend

This pain is not useless. The more I get who he really is the more I detach.
I love deeply so It is a painful process. But I am detaching. One bad memory at a time... .

[UnforgivenII]

.

Unforgiven ,  it sounds like they shut you out as if it were just the two of them in the car. That was a cruel, cruel thing to do and I know what this feels like  . I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. It might take some time for you to process all that has happened, but you will get through it and as Sadly says we are all right here for you. We understand your pain. Sending you much love and support 

Larmoyant... .I know how much you loved him too.
It is our weakness. But our strength too. You are such a beautiful soul  thank you

[Sadly]

Thank you Unforgiven
I have travelled all over the world and yet never been to Italy, it's my favourite food though 
Hope you are doing better now. 

Hi Lar
Your strength is inspirational 

Love from
Sadly xx

[lovenature]

But she was perfect.
And I am not.

Truth is the more perfect (showing realistic unconditional love) you are, the more you will be hurt. The more we accept and try to please our PWBPD, the closer we get, the more we are pushed away.

Take comfort in knowing what a really great person you are Unforgiven, as proven by how much pain was caused by a very mentally ill person who couldn't accept your love.

[UnforgivenII]

Thank you for your kindness. This particular memory does not haunt me anymore. I do think they deserve each other.
 

[happendtome]

My ex replaced me with one of the worse kinds. My replacement is pathological liar, steals etc. But my ex says to me that she is giving him the reason for living and he is changing and that is love and she had never felt this way. Of course she said that to me also before.
Well, my replacement hasnt changed. This is kind of embarrasing. And no matter what he does, she will still always accuse me that i didnt love her enough. So it makes me feel worthless and im probably happier just living on my own.

[UnforgivenII]

They do not tell the truth. Ever.
I will never trust one of his words again. Do the same.