Are These Behaviors Normal or BPD?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I believe my mother might have BPD. I've posted here before I believe about past events. She was apparently diagnosed with OCD, but switched from a number of psychiatrists. Anyway, she doesn't have much good to say about anyone, but plenty of negative things. She has fallen out with her family, has no friends, and could have easily done the same with me.

As I am approaching 30 she keeps on at my dad regularly that she wants me out. Fair enough in some respects, but it is the nature of which she is doing it. Piling on pressure, and the job I have makes it hard. Anyway, my dad is getting older, and he has his own sexual issue to deal with that involves wanting to dress as the opposite sex. This makes him weak matured, and my mother has the dominance over him. Sadly, this means that my dad had near-always ended up siding with her after arguments and rages, or anything else in the past.

She seems to totally lack empathy. My dad's mother is very old now and is due to leave a will in the future. My mother isn't subtle and frequently says she wishes she would hurry up and die so she can have her dream location and me a home of my own. Actually, my dad's mother is also very self-centered, so the two were never destined to get on. My mother wants a coat of hers and she is angry that she hasn't given it her as my mother has said she'd like it. However, the mother did give her another coat.

My mom thinks she is being stingy given her old age and that my dad and her take my dad's mother out on occasions. Also, my dad didn't see his mother for nearly a decade due to an incident involving me, where I had to stay there under stressful conditions and was thrown out.

Not sure what you all make of the above. I find myself questioning a lot of things given the different personalities involved. Is this typical BPD behavior, or OCD, or something different? Let me know what you guys think.

[Squeek123]

I believe my mother might have BPD. I've posted here before I believe about past events. She was apparently diagnosed with OCD, but switched from a number of psychiatrists. Anyway, she doesn't have much good to say about anyone, but plenty of negative things. She has fallen out with her family, has no friends, and could have easily done the same with me.

As I am approaching 30 she keeps on at my dad regularly that she wants me out. Fair enough in some respects, but it is the nature of which she is doing it. Piling on pressure, and the job I have makes it hard. Anyway, my dad is getting older, and he has his own sexual issue to deal with that involves wanting to dress as the opposite sex. This makes him weak matured, and my mother has the dominance over him. Sadly, this means that my dad had near-always ended up siding with her after arguments and rages, or anything else in the past.

She seems to totally lack empathy. My dad's mother is very old now and is due to leave a will in the future. My mother isn't subtle and frequently says she wishes she would hurry up and die so she can have her dream location and me a home of my own. Actually, my dad's mother is also very self-centered, so the two were never destined to get on. My mother wants a coat of hers and she is angry that she hasn't given it her as my mother has said she'd like it. However, the mother did give her another coat.

My mom thinks she is being stingy given her old age and that my dad and her take my dad's mother out on occasions. Also, my dad didn't see his mother for nearly a decade due to an incident involving me, where I had to stay there under stressful conditions and was thrown out.

Not sure what you all make of the above. I find myself questioning a lot of things given the different personalities involved. Is this typical BPD behavior, or OCD, or something different? Let me know what you guys think.

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Squeek123!

Good to have you popping back in and touching base with us. 

It definitely sounds like there are some issues going on with your mom, even though you don't know if she is BPD. Have you ever read about a lot of the symptoms that are common with a BPD? If you go to the list on the right hand side of our C&H board, click on the one which says, "Understanding BPD Behaviors" under the Lessons heading. An informative page opens up with a lot to read. You will be able to link to other articles from that page too and learn more about BPD.

Sometimes even though we read and study to learn, there is that craving within us surviving adult children to really know that someone else sees it too, that we really aren't losing our minds, and yes, that something is wrong with them. We are not able to diagnose here, but we can definitely try to point you to be able to read and understand so you can ask questions about your parent and the life you grew up in. My mom was an uBPD, I am quite certain. There are also many other disorders that can accompany any BPD. Each BPD person is unique, although they do have many similarities. The DSM V has a good list of the criteria, and you'll find that list under the information I mentioned above.

Do you have anyone that you can talk to, a T that you see perhaps who can also help you along the way?

 
Wools

[Squeek123]

Hi Wools,
Thanks for your message and links.
After I have read the symptoms, many match with BPD, so it certainly seems to be highly likely.
I was never on the end of physical abuse, it was emotional at times though - such as witnessing rage attacks. That said, my parents have always provided for me when it comes to clothing, food etc.