Adult children of parents with BPD - what are your challenges?

[Bryum]

I didn't know my mother suffered from this disorder until I was 28 years old and (after years of threatening), she attempted suicide just days before my oldest friend's wedding (which I then had to miss). I sat in on her physch exam where she was formally diagnosed with BPD. To this day she denies this diagnosis. I've suffered many unsettling emotional problems and negative attachment problems as an adult and they finally started to make sense after reading about adult children of BPD parents. I wonder if anyone can relate and what strategies you use to function more fluidly and happily in your lives? Although I have an unbelievably supportive and loving partner,  it is difficult for her to understand what my childhood was like and it would be nice to connect with some people who can relate.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Bryum:  
I'm so sorry you have a BPD mom and had a difficult childhood.  This is a great community to share your story with others and gain their input.

It can be helpful to go through the steps of the Survivor's Guide in the right-hand margin.  As you click on each step, a pop-up window will appear. 

Applying boundaries and using various communication skills can make things easier for you.  If you go to the large green band at the top of the page, you will find a "Tools" menu.  The lessons there can help you learn some skills.  "Boundaries" and ":)on't Invalidate" are good lessons to start with.

What are some behavioral issues you currently have with your mom?   We look forward to hearing more of your story, when you are ready.

Take care.

[Turkish]

Being attracted to unhealthy women because that was all that I knew and it was familiar? Not a good coping mechanism... .

After the break up of the r/s with the mother of my children in my early 40s, my mother admitted to me that she was BPD. Even so,  I didn't miss an important wedding due to get drama since I was limited contact. Did you feel angry or resentful?

Turkish

[Justsomebelgian]

I can relate... .Was attracted to very needy girls for a long time, now I'm in a healthy relationship and though I really love this girl it's hard to appreciate that sometimes bc I'm not used to it.