Getting worse, I'm losing hope

[Scarletstar]

Since his BPD diagnosis a month ago, my BPD fiancé just seems to be getting worse. Fortunately he has accepted the diagnosis but is currently still waiting for a referral for therapy. In the meantime it is taking every ounce of my strength and patience just to get through the day. He quit his job and is looking for another one so is here 24/7 pretty much.

I feel as though I can't be me. I have to bite my tongue and think so very carefully about the words that come out of my mouth. I feel like I could probably manage it okay if he was the only thing I had to focus on in my life but he isn't. I have a nine month old baby who has taken to waking several times in the night, every night and I have two other school age children to take care of as well as a house to run (I look after all the maintenance of the house and bill paying etc as well as the shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc.)I'm working part time too, to keep some money coming in.

I'm utterly exhausted managing on about 4-5 hrs sleep a night and I feel like my brain is going to explode when, like today, it's a super busy school day morning and I'm trying to get myself as well as three other kids breakfasted, dressed and out of the door with all the right books, kit and school forms and my other half just stands there right in the way, wide eyed, staring at me and starts to whine & complain that I'm not being very loving towards him this morning

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[once removed]

hi Scarletstar and

a BPD diagnosis is probably a scary, and monumental event for him. it is not uncommon for things to sometimes get worse before they get better. with a diagnosis comes a great deal of hope, though, and that, and a new job opportunity may, over time, give him a sense of purpose and structure. have the two of you discussed his diagnosis? how has it gone?

you do sound exhausted, Scarletstar, and you have quite a bit on your plate. im glad that you reached out for support, and will let us know how we can best support you. self care is really critical - what are you doing to take time for yourself?