Dear Wife

[skunkfish]

Possible Trigger Warning:

I need a place where I can express what's going on right now.

I lost my job yesterday, I had the job for almost 2 months. I've been working since I finished school in 2008. Always held my jobs for 2 to 4 years. Before that, I was laid off from a job at the beginning of December.

My wife has BPD traits but no diagnsosis. She works so hard for other people but won't take care of herself. She grew up in home where he older sister was severely handicapped, because of an and was always told things like "well at least you're not like your sister." I can only imagine how difficult and crazy growing up like that must have been.

She's almost always working on something. If she's not working herself way harder than she should, she'll feel guilty.

She talks about cutting herself to get the pain to stop. I ask her to be very clear about what she hopes that will accomplish. I love her very much and it's so difficult with the extreme amount of worry and anguish she has when things get tough or she gets too busy and wants someone to save her.

The poor dear, I try not to worry too much about her but it's difficult because I'm still just as in love with her as I was a over a decade ago when we first met.

I know she can't help it, I know she's trying her best. Her parents just get her so worked up yet they help us financially. They really just make her feel more anxious and worried.

We had to get out of a bad apartment situation and are having trouble subletting or getting a new person in there. So we're having to pay 2 rents which really really not easy. But my wife is trying to micromanage the broker.

I feel terrible for posting about my wife online.

Does anyone else have a similar situation?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

  skunkfish

You are in a safe place to help yourself find balance in this, and ultimately be able to better to support your wife.

Does your wife over rescue and micro manage? Does lack of sturucture and control send her into a tailspin? If so she could have traits of OCPD. This is not the same as OCD

Cutting is often a means of putting an obvious face on pain (ie physical rather than being able to cope with the invisible face(ie emotional)