Hi Everyone
I'm new here and I guess I need to post an intro.
I've been going to therapy for about seven months now. I started seeing my therapist because I was having some trouble with some life transitions. Then my grandpa passed away, and I was able to get some support from my therapist during the grieving process. The more I talked about the special relationship I had with my grandparents, the more he asked me about my relationship with my actual parents. I started talking more about my mom, and the upbringing that I had. On paper, it seems that I had a perfect childhood. But I never felt unconditionally loved, emotionally supported or understood. My mom was always having severe mood swings, was always sick, and always seemed to be mad at me when I wasn't sure why. I grew up literally walking on eggshells, and this has continued into my adult life. I've had some depression and have a lot of anxiety surrounding my job, my relationships and especially my relationship with my mom.
This past week, my therapist suggested I go home and do some reading about BPD. I had never heard of it and knew nothing about it. As soon as I started reading the symptoms and behaviors associated with BPD, it all seemed to click. Then I started reading articles about people who had grown up with a parent with BPD, and I couldn't believe how similar some of the stories were to mine.
I'm so glad that I've found this group. I think it will be a great resource and support system for me. Unfortunately, I know my mom would never be open to the idea of therapy, and would never admit that she was less than perfect, so her getting treatment is not really an option. However, I'm trying to change my own thinking and behaviors in regards to her, because my relationship with her is often toxic and causes me a ton of stress.
Thanks for reading - looking forward to getting to know everyone and hearing your stories!
