Hi all,
New here, great posts on this site that are so helpful
My ex bf "ghosted" me three times during our 6 month relationship. Now i know he has BPD, i understand why he did this and that it is common... .each time, after 2-3 weeks of the "silent treatment" he came back as if nothing had happened, despite my numerous emails asking him if he was ok etc and to please contact me.
Anyway this last time we had a nasty texting episode (well HE was nasty) and he got very mean and i didnt hear from him for 5 weeks. I sent 3 emails asking him to PLEASE let me know what is going on, if its over etc.
No response.
I found out from his friend during this 5 weeks he was "going to reach out and just wanted his anger to subside" (he had no reason to be angry! i did!) and so i sat in imbo for 5 weeks. Then one day i contacted his friend again as i couldnt deal with being in limbo, and he said he just texted him and he said "oh i am gonna let sleeping dos lie".What the heck? he was just going to leave it, end the relationship and never tell me? I called him and he answered as my number didnt show up. When he first answered he said "jesus fkn christ, are you serious?" when he realised it was me (seriously, thats how you answer the phone?) then i went on to tell him CALMLY and NICELY how hard these past weeks have been and how i just was unsure of what was going on, i was sad etc... .he replied "dont fkn guilt trip me" etc. He was horrible and angry.
Anyway he calmed down and it was ok. But he had no intention of contacting me to tell me our relationship was over, despite my many emails telling him to please just tell me if its over so i can move on with my life. nothing
So is this normal BPD bevior? I know the silent treatment is / ghosting so i guess it is the same thing, but the other times he came back, this time his intentions were to end it. He apparently asked his other friends and they said to "leave it" and say nothing. what the heck? who are these people, no integrity!
Is this just ending a relationship without tellling your gf common amongst BPDs?
thanks in advance, this website is a godsend and i am so grateful i found it!