just split my life is a storm and how to coparent without vulnerability

[massagequeen]

so just split with my husband a week ago. Hes in a very kind place right now and has offered to give me all assets and funds in the divorce for " restitution " and to make things right .he also says he will agree to just about whatever when it comes to our toddler as far as visitation is concerned. so with this in mind im going to an attorney on thursday to write up the paperwork  before he changes his mind. after all that I have been through, money does not make this right but sure helps that he does not plan on dragging this out and makeing it ugly. the worst part of all this is that he has a son whome I have raised as my own for almost 6 years and he will be affected the most by this.He is very attatched to my other 2 boys and our toddler that we have together. not alot will change for my boys because we will stay in the same home same school same area while my stepson will be ripped away from everything he has ever known and be liveing in another town 4 hours away. I have asked for visitation with him which he has agreed to but there is no way to match both scedules with both exes, so it can all work that the kids are together. He is being so good about all this he has even offered to pay me child support on top of supporting me as long as I need while I figure out a liveing and take care of our baby. I am still in love with this man and am divorceing in order to save my financial future and my sanity but feelings of guilt creep in. I soften toward him. sometimes I feel it would be easier if it were an ugly divorce. I know he is doing it this way in order to try to win me back and is hopeful we can repair this down the road because he has told me this. I of course hope he will change but it cannot happen while we are still married ( he has relapsed and made promises before had therapy on and off for years and broke these promises over and over) I feel as though he gave me no choice. I feel I have an addiction to this man and obviousley hes really bad for me.people speak alot on here about no contact but this is virtually impossible when you have a child together and are coparenting . how do I do this without getting sucked back into a relationship? It does not help to see him with the children as he has always been very attentive to them and a dotting father includeing my other 2 boys who have called him dad for most of the marriage. also how do we tell our children and what do we tell them ? without involveing them in our adult issues? this man has led a secret life a deceit and lies and had affairs, cheated on me financially while I lived off of nothing thinking we were poor and on and on. But in the childrens eyes they think he is wonderful and love him deeply. The divorce will be quick and will not give them more then a few weeks to process it.any advice? I still feel emotionally attatched to this person and part of his recovery is telling me little truths as he remembers them along with setting me free from this prison. The reason I am divorceing and so quickly is to not be responsible for his financial mistakes and to keep him from leaveing me in financial ruin. I also just went through a year long custody battle with my ex and am still waiting on a desision from the judge. the written closeing is still being drawn up and my whole case was hingeing on my complete family ( ironic isn't it) so I have to hide my seperation and impending divorce till this is done with. what a huge mess! But unfortunatley you don't plan to discover your husbands mistress of six months and the timeing of such a terrible thing. All  I am hopeing is my ex does not appeal or drag me through the mud again if I get the kids. its an all or nothing fight and one of us will end up with the kids everyother weekend and half of the summer and it could be me getting the short end because of his fabricated abuse allegations.so I potentially could have my whole family ripped away and it just be me and my toddler who i still have to share with my second soon to be ex. yes I know what your thinking, my life is a ___ storm . This is something for the movies and you don't even know the half of it. any advice would help. I am still full of alot of conflicting eotjons