Could it be this easy?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Was Abandoned by my uBPDexGF  3/24/17.  5 year relationship. Well, it’s been almost 7 weeks of NC.  I mean real NC including changing my phone number.  I posted my first board message titled “Calm before the storm” some time ago.  Was concerned about a dog I have that is hers. The dog has lived with me for 3 years.  I wasn’t sure if she would come back for her or not.  In all of our other breakups the dog was always been the key to getting her foot back in the door.
Today (5/10/17) I received a registered snail-mail.  Only way there is to contact me,,  Gee,,, what a surprise. 

I have typed the letter exactly how it was written.

Reads as follows:

“LET THIS LETTER SERVE AS FORMAL NOTICE:

I will be back for Winnie my dog.  I am in the process of procuring a new place to live.  If you are no longer in possession of my dog I need to know.  Tell it to a third party if you need to.  Just let me know.  This is costing me a lot of money.

I am willing to entertain a reasonable offer for payment of kennel services rendered and food.  Once again, tell third party to contact me with this information.

If you want, I can contact the xxxxxxxxxx Police Department and that is where the exchange will take place.”


Ok,,  you get the picture….

I’m wondering?  Could it be this easy?  All I have to do is have someone deliver the dog?

Does anyone read anything else into it?  She’s talking about a third party (triangulation?)  Hell,, Everyone I’ve talked to does not want to get involved.  Most say I really don’t know her that well.  What would you do? 

Haven’t done a thing yet...   Need some advice

[SmythiGee]

Was Abandoned by my uBPDexGF  3/24/17.  5 year relationship. Well, it’s been almost 7 weeks of NC.  I mean real NC including changing my phone number.  I posted my first board message titled “Calm before the storm” some time ago.  Was concerned about a dog I have that is hers. The dog has lived with me for 3 years.  I wasn’t sure if she would come back for her or not.  In all of our other breakups the dog was always been the key to getting her foot back in the door.
Today (5/10/17) I received a registered snail-mail.  Only way there is to contact me,,  Gee,,, what a surprise. 

I have typed the letter exactly how it was written.

Reads as follows:

“LET THIS LETTER SERVE AS FORMAL NOTICE:

I will be back for Winnie my dog.  I am in the process of procuring a new place to live.  If you are no longer in possession of my dog I need to know.  Tell it to a third party if you need to.  Just let me know.  This is costing me a lot of money.

I am willing to entertain a reasonable offer for payment of kennel services rendered and food.  Once again, tell third party to contact me with this information.

If you want, I can contact the xxxxxxxxxx Police Department and that is where the exchange will take place.”


Ok,,  you get the picture….

I’m wondering?  Could it be this easy?  All I have to do is have someone deliver the dog?

Does anyone read anything else into it?  She’s talking about a third party (triangulation?)  Hell,, Everyone I’ve talked to does not want to get involved.  Most say I really don’t know her that well.  What would you do? 

Haven’t done a thing yet...   Need some advice

[RomanticFool]

Hi Smythigee,

I read your original post and, like you, I was convinced that it would only be a matter of time before she contacted you. What a BPD can't stand is feeling like an attachment is broken. They need their back up as they cannot be alone.

What I read into this is that whatever else she was doing after you and her split up, this has now gone to sh*t. She is upping the ante by saying 'this is costing me alot of money' whatever 'this' refers to. I can't believe a letter would cost that much. Therefore I would be extremely careful about how I dealt with this. I absolutely would not contact her myself and I would stick with her suggestion of a third party. Note she is saying 'let me know' rather than can you deliver my dog. She is also saying'I will be back.' So it is all aimed at getting you to contact her.

In my opinion she is trying to remain attached or possibly the precursor to a recycle. If she wants her dog back, she knows where you live. Just come and get Winnie. It's a game.

[SmythiGee]

Thanks RomanticFool,

I'm doing pretty well.  Read so many posts here.  The FOG is lifting.  The pain was incredible at first and still rents space in my brain.  I think what helps me the most is that I truly understand that she is basically sick.  God, I did love her though. 

As far as costing her money that was never a concern when I was around.  I am a pretty successful man.  Money I spent on her never impacted my bottom line. She never did actually live with me and now she's finding out that it cost a lot to be independent.  I'm sure she will up the ante with the next person.

In her first paragraph she states “Tell it to a third party if you need to”...   Think your right ...   She is hinting for me to contact her.  This is why I asked for advice.  They are soo  good at playing with your head.

Still really don’t know what to do.  In cases like this, maybe it's just better to ponder on it for awhile.  Sleep on it…    maybe for as long as it took her to contact me.

Did notice one thing though.  The contact from her did put the butterfly's back in my stomach...   Meaning I need to be very careful