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Author Topic: How can I convince her (uBPD wife) to seek professional help?  (Read 369 times)
verytired

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Posts: 37



« on: May 12, 2017, 05:59:10 PM »

I'm at the end of my rope and my physical health is starting to suffer. I need help getting my 65 year old uBPD wife to seek help. She show signs of Complex PTSD, Developmental Trauma, NPD, BiPolar and BPD. She will not go in for help because in her mind I have NPD and am the cause for ALL of her problems and am the one who needs help. I agree I need help dealing with this and have been seeing a counselor on my own, but my counselor can only be there to listen and offer support.

As hard as I try not to trigger her rages, she seems to be getting even more sensitive to "not being heard" and all the other things I do that "make her feel this way".

Anyone have any magic words I can use to plant the idea in her mind to see a mental health professional?
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stayingsteady
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 58


« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2017, 07:24:20 PM »

verytired,

I'm sorry to hear your going through such a difficult time.  It's definitely difficult when you strive to do well and end up being blamed for these issues.  As you mentioned, going to therapy can be extremely difficult for an individual with symptoms of BPD.

I'm not sure, but I have an idea that may help.  Again, this is just an idea, so you may want to adjust it to fit your own particular situation:

Marriage counseling may be an option.  Because marriage counseling focuses on the marriage rather than the individual the likelihood of refusal should decrease.  If you chose this route, it may be beneficial to find a marriage therapist who also has a strong background in cluster B personality disorders. 

You could even use a soft mention to plant the seed.

Again, this is just an idea... .

Hoping for the best for you and your wife,

- Staying Steady
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