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Author Topic: Living with BPD while they are going through DBT - What is that like?  (Read 331 times)
Doughboy
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 158


« on: May 15, 2017, 10:17:32 PM »

Theoretical question and mostly a curiosity.  My uBPDexFiance could best be described as a High Functioning, quiet, Waif.  Throw in a little general depression and a touch of PTSD from a Semi recent 2nd marriage (2yrs) that she was verbally, sexually, and physically abused.

If, IF, she reached out to me at some point and was able to be convinced to get evaluated for the BPD and IF she was diagnosed and IF she started DBT therapy... .What is that day to day like?

My best understanding is that it would be a couple of years of therapy, once a week with the Dr. and once a week with a DBT group.  Is this correct?  It sounds like it would be tiring for her and possibly me.  Also sounds expensive with all of the Co-pays.

Does anyone have any insight or personal experiences they could share?

I do want to stress that she has only semi raged like 3 times in 18 months and we were only apart for 2 of those but we texted continuously during the time apart.  She does not display all of the "scary" traits that I have read so much about.  Just gathering information that might help me make a decision if she reaches out at some point.

Also, what is the protocol for telling people.  IF diagnosed is this something that should be shared with immediate family and very close friends so that everyone can try and be a support system?

The immediate family and friends at this point have been enablers and mostly say "that is how she is and always has been".  Especially the Mother... .she is so overprotective and kinda attacks if you challenge anything about her daughter having an issue other than basic depression.
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Doughboy
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« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2017, 11:16:24 AM »

Anyone?  Anyone?
I have Googled but I get no real answer.  Just a description of the make up of the therapy.
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flourdust
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Relationship status: In the process of divorce after 12 year marriage
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« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2017, 11:47:31 AM »

This really depends on the person, Ox. It's definitely not a one-size-fits-all answer.

An effective DBT program is likely to take around a year of participation, maybe more. The person in the program has to be willing to acknowledge their own problems and commit to working on them.

There are many people here who have had a loved one in DBT who has been a reluctant participant, only going through the motions. In those cases, DBT doesn't really change anything for the better.

Even in the best possible case, it's a very slow and nonlinear direction of improvement.
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GD39
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« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2017, 11:47:53 AM »

Try the book, "Get Me Out of Here." I did heard the sample in Audible, and purchased it. Even though it does not go specifically in the day by day, or how it was between her and the husband, at least you get to hear what it is like the therapy seen by the sufferers perspective. I wonder the same. I am going through how to bring up to my girlfriend that either we get help, or I can go on like this. Good luck.
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