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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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MrWonka1965
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: May 16, 2017, 05:49:37 PM »

I'm a new member and my husband has BPD.  I'm just learning about this disorder so looking to soak up all the information I can.  I just started reading Walking on Eggshells which is how I found this group.  My husband is looking for a therapist who can help him specifically with BPD. It seems its not easy to find the right professionals to help.  We live outside of Charlotte, NC.  Looking forward to learning from all of you!
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JoeBPD81
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« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2017, 07:18:58 AM »

Welcome to the forums!

It is great to have a good disposition towards learning. There is a lot of information, and it's not easy to grabb it all, but some pieces here and there help a lot. Please don't feel that you have to learn it all at once. It was overwhelming for me. And I read so much and it took so much of my time that I started to talk like a shrink, and my girlfriend hated it. I was good and caring myself, I don't need to be a therapist also, even if it sounds tempting sometimes.

I haven't got to read walking on eggshells myself. I want to keep a balance in what I do for myself and what I do for my loved one. And I mostly joined here to help her and to learn how to be good for her.

A good therapist is a big help, I hope you too get lucky. If you don't get a good one at 1st try, don't despair and keep looking, there are very good compasionate people out there, but less than that could make things worse. My GF was diagnosed and right after her therapist fall sick, and she's still on leave. So we had to face the news alone. And we've come a long way from that day. Just learning and talking ourselves. It hasn't been pretty everyday, not at all, everything seemed lost many times. But yesterday she got a substitute therapist, and she was congratulated on the work she has done by herself. I'm very proud of her, and she's said that I was a big help, so I feel blessed.

She's found a lot of comfort in talking with other people with BPD, as she felt isolated and as a freak most of her life. She thought, felt and did things different than anybody else. And then she found lots of people who feel things the same way. So that has been part of her improvement.

I hope we keep hearing from you.
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