Question about BPD and Facebook

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So, a few weeks ago I blocked her on Facebook. I was proud of myself. I am not going to let her come back into my life and keep our lives separate. Well, I am on facebook and I go to the people you may know tool (which I do from time to time) and guess who pops up there? Surprised, obviously, because I blocked her. So, now I get to block this one too. Is this a common thing with BPD? Block, new profile?

[JaxWest]

So, a few weeks ago I blocked her on Facebook. I was proud of myself. I am not going to let her come back into my life and keep our lives separate. Well, I am on facebook and I go to the people you may know tool (which I do from time to time) and guess who pops up there? Surprised, obviously, because I blocked her. So, now I get to block this one too. Is this a common thing with BPD? Block, new profile?

[Harley Quinn]

Hi,

I don't use facebook but after I went no contact the first time and blocked him on Whatsapp and my phone he changed his number 4 times to keep trying again to get through to me.  Initially it worked as I answered and he hooked me again although I never got back fully embroilled and managed to disengage again fairly quickly.  The next thing he did was to withhold his number when he was blocked so his calls came through.  I answered once as I was expecting a call from a health professional from a private line but hung up once I realised it was him.  Now I simply don't answer any private numbers or mobile numbers I don't recognise.  If it's someone I know they can leave me a message and I call back.  So although not entirely the same it does ring true to me.  If determined I'm sure they will try any means to re establish contact.  Good luck and stay strong.

Love and light x  

[JaxWest]

Luckily, she did not contact me. This account will be joining the block list too. I just find it weird and suspicious that I block her and she now has a new account...

[Pretty Woman]

I myself have a fake account I use to keep tabs on new hires or look at profiles prior to an interview. I am a firm believer it's fruitless to block. As long as you set your account to private where all they can see is your profile and main pic you are good.

You can keep blocking her when she pops up but all she will have to do is put up a fake one and you'll never know. If you keep blocking each new account she creates in her "likeness" she knows she is getting to you even if it's negatively.

Don't play the game.
 

[Harley Quinn]

I've stopped blocking too now.  Something makes me want to know when he gives up and leaves me alone so I've left Whatsapp unblocked.  I feel relieved when I'm not hearing anything for weeks at a time.  I've no intention of ever replying no matter what might come through.  It will give me peace of mind to know that he's not trying to bombard me and simply failing rather than actually going away.  After the last 3 weeks of no attempts from him I got a message yesterday asking for help.  With the profile picture of him with my replacement!  He said I'm the only person he's known in his life who actually has a heart and soul.  So obviously that makes it fine to break... .I'm not responding.  Not now, not ever.  In time I'm sure he'll get the message that I'm no longer going to jump to his aid whenever he needs or wants something and let sleeping dogs lie.

Stay strong.

[JaxWest]

I haven't blocked the new account yet. I guess it is still too raw, so it freaks me out. My counselor said she has  stalker tendencies, so it just made me a little nervous when I saw she just created a new profile after I blocked her. I blocked her on LinkedIn as well, now I have private viewers viewing my profile. I am hoping those are both coincidences and the 2nd profile is for work or something, but I have my doubts. I am trying not to get sucked into the mind games. I have no doubt that she has demonized me in her office. She was very secretive the whole time. She had made an excuse to contact me about work, then restricted me on facebook, which I thought was odd, considering I thought we had reached a good point. But, nope. Her swing in behavior is why I blocked her on facebook. I visit my nieces a lot, so there are quite a few things with me and them on facebook, so I did not want her to know or see anything about them. Somehow, this girl knew a lot of very oddly specifics about me. I have my profile set to private now.

[Harley Quinn]

When I was with my exBPDbf I often thought he was a bit like a private detective.  He would snoop and I'd find evidence of that then he'd deny it.  It was like he was investigating me and looking for incriminating evidence of some dark secret he could catch me out with.  He insisted on having the password to my mobile, which I happily gave him as I had nothing to hide.  He would say I was 'too perfect' and there had to be something I was covering up. 

Sadly and ironically for me, he did dig back, like waaaayyyyy back in my mobile when I was at yoga one evening and found something to get really really really upset about.  It was meaningless messages back and forth with an ex from before we were together.  They meant so little and had no feelings attached that I had forgotten about them ever being sent.  In fact most of it was either jokey or sarcastic but obviously you can't read tone in print so it was the ammunition he wanted.  More fool me for not getting involved in his story and covering up any possible 'evidence' he could misconstrue when he was playing detective.  I didn't think there was anything to hide yet I know if it wasn't that he'd have found something else to get upset about.  I was split black from that point and it was the beginning of the end. 

Yes I can completely see how she might want to look into you.  I think there comes a lack of trust with abandonment issues that runs deep.  Jealousy is a common facet of that, which to me would also explain some of the impulsive behaviour seemingly to 'get back at us', possibly for the things they think we have done/would do to them.  Best bet is to cover our proverbials and not try to understand the motivations, (as they don't make much natural sense to us), simply instead not get drawn in and focus on ourselves instead.  Stay strong.

Love and light x

[JaxWest]

The private detective is a good description. It definitely felt like she was looking up subtle things that the average person would not care about or surrounding herself in my setting to get some sort of information about me. I am trying not to get pulled into her game, but it is challenging. At this point, I am treating things completely separately. Her friends are her friends, so I am not approaching them. My friends are my friends, so she should not approach them. Keep our lives separate. The one bad thing is I hung out with a couple of her coworkers before I knew her. I wasn't really friends with them, but met up with them as part of a group. She put a stop to that though, so now they do not go to the events. Now I don't really feel like I can hang out with those coworkers though to make a clear point... .stay away from me.

[Harley Quinn]

Good move.  It's definitely best to cut all ties if possible.  Much easier to move on.  It may sound a silly little thing (and it is) but my only regret about the split is I had lent him a laptop and because it wasn't returned to me (I did attempt to retrieve once and was met by a hostile person I didn't know any more... .so left it at that and with some choice words told him to keep it and place it in an orifice... .) I feel that is a mistake on my part because it leaves the gate slightly propped.  Not in my mind but potentially in his.  Like we still have something connecting us that he could hang onto and try to use in future to instigate contact.  I hope I'm wrong and he never does use that as an excuse down the line.  In fact right now I'm sure he's smugly sitting playing games on it and enjoying yet another good deed which has cost someone else.  Doubt he concerns himself with the financial impact he's had over the r/s for a second.  I still get mail addressed to him and am returning to sender so I'm sure it must soon stop arriving.  It's satisfying to know there are otherwise no links between us.  I feel for others who are forced to remain in contact, no matter how little.

Love and light x