Hello ladies and thankyou for your replies . My apologies for my late response , it's been quite the week so far ! Urgh !
Anyway , after Sunday's events , the staying out late seems so mediocre ! My DD decided to try a " benzo trippie "by overdosing on 15 Benadryl and ended up having a seizure while in a restaurant with her friend so a trip to ER via paramedics etc was quite the ticket . The staff in there are getting to know us all by our first names these days
So anyway , this week has involved dealing with the side effects after her massive pschedelic trip that her body reacted to very strongly and did not go down as the fun afternoon she had planned ! She's felt pretty rough all week ! The therapist told her that with all her overdoses in the last 18 months , she may have damaged her liver and it sounds like her body is no longer metabolizing drugs well at all , I'm hoping this might have given her a scare . She's also got a UTI now so she's worried that she might well have done some damage to her kidneys ( I didn't mention it might be sexually transmitted ) . Fingers crossed the bottle has dropped that actually she might well end up doing major damage to her organs of she carries on like this .
Anyways I digress . LP to answer your questions , I do believe you might be onto something in regards she won't text me when she's doing something she'll know I won't like . She normally comes straight home after work , finishes at 10:30pm and I normally pick her up but sometimes she'll get a lift home from a workmate who lives close to us . She knows full well she's expected to come straight home .
We spoke about this curfew and staying out all night with the family therapist earlier this week , so with another pending party this weekend , we agreed she will text me every couple of hours and curfew is 1am . We'll see if she sticks to this or not . Regarding the ex boyfriend, he's no longer in the picture , still waiting on his court case to come up . I want the protection/ restraining order to be made permanent . Here's hoping . I think she still misses him/ being in a relationship and he hurt her terribly with the cruel Nasty vicious things he said , so I think her emotional pain is also causing her to be on the constant search for a replacement , looking to feel attractive and desirable by another guy ( anyone will do !) hence the promiscuity right now and acting out behaviors .
Gorges , I agree the phone and car removal no longer seems to have much effect . She's not bothered about not having her car right now because I tend to taxi her around anyway ( I know I know ! I shouldn't ! But if I don't , she'll simply not make any attempt to go to her therapy meetings , probation meetings, school or work !) and her best friend has recently obtained a car so she's not missing the car so much now . At least I have some peace of mind though that she's not wrapping a car around a street lamp or getting into car accidents as a driver !
Regarding her plans for next year , right now we are dragging her through her online classes to finish high school , it'll be a miracle if she graduates. I can't see college being a part of her future now to be honest unless there's some dramatic improvements . She's just not academically motivated in any way now . She used to be and its so sad to see such a smart cookie let her academics go down the plug hole she says she's like to get into college for marketing but just doesn't do the work and shows little enthusiasm for anything right now except hanging out with friends . We too have considered sending her to live with family back in Scotland but in all honesty she's such a handful , I couldn't ask anyone to take on this responsibility and also I'd worry that she would see this as an act of rejection and just "sending her away "
She's holding down her job Gorges and has done for the last 20 months but in truth it's only because they are very lenient with her ( and possibly worried about employment disability discrimination law ?) she's been hospitalized 7 times now and each time I call a manager to let them know she'll be off work until further notice and each manager is always very nice and worried for her . She is actually quite likeable at work I think . It's just when she's at home , she's an absolute horror .
I spoke with her therapist a couple of times last week and this week and while my DD has definitely made some progress with her self harm and cutting ( and up until Sunday , seemed to have the substance abuse under control too ), and I told the therapist that my most pressing concerns right now is her promiscuity , staying out past curfew /out all night , and her sleeping pattern is all out of whack again , sleeping through the day and up milling around all night . Interestingly the therapist said that for the first time since working with my DD , she's seeing some mania symptoms creeping in and she's a bit worried about this , particularly given my DD remains absolutely Adament she will not try any medications at all now . Therapist is seeing her twice weekly starting this week , just because of recent events and increased risky behaviors. It looks like bipolar 2 is still well up there in her list of diagnosis right now , I was beginning to rule that one out but nope ! It's still there ! .
My DD has refused to return to the DBT therapist I found for her , stating "!i don't like her , she makes me feel uncomfortable ", so that was a bit of a blow . The therapist my DD does agree to see though is skilled in DBT even though her speciality is substance abuse , and my DD really likes her and has formed a good bond , so I'm just having to go along with this plan so far . The therapist says she has been using DBT elements for years so while not certified and while not the ideal I was hoping for , it's all my DD is prepared to do right now so I'll just have to accept it !
Just as an aside , my DD said something that surprised me today . She is normally loud and proud with her self harm scars ( and believe me , she's like a zebra !) but we were taking about visiting family at home and how she misses her two young cousins who she adores . She asked me what she should say when her cousins see her scars and asks " what are they ?" . I didn't wire know how to answer and we have some time to figure out an appropriate response as we won't be visiting home until next year . She then said " well I'll probably have covered up the worst of them with tattoos by then so I might now need to explain myself ". So she DOES worry about them and how they look . Contrary to her arrogant haughty " I don't care what people think of them " attitude . Kind of humanised her for me again even if only for a little while .