Spoke too soon

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Sitting here in shock. I brought my youngest grandson down with me yesterday to play with his cousin. It was our sons birthday last week.  Our yearly tradition is to come down and help him plant his  garden and celebrate his birthday with his son. Today our son got off work and got a call.  He didn't recognize the number. When he answered the phone it was DHS. I have been off by my count... .today he got his 11th complaint so he will not be able to have his son this weekend. DHS would not tell him the complaint but said you have to agree not to pick him up. Our son stood up for himself and said, my mother is in town... .I do not agree. The gal that called said well let me call my manager. She called back stating she could not get a hold of anyone. She told our son if he didn't agree the cops would be called. The heartbreak and devastation is overwhelming. 3 years of hell. Why, why is it the person who is the evil one, who is destroying my grandchildren and son are the ones that get to keep the children.  My GS was so excited we were coming. I usually don't tell him but he was worried that I was coming down last weekend, so he asked me and I told him no, we would celebrate it when he was with his daddy too. Trust me... .I know they are good at what they do. But we are a family with love integrity and patience, but that is running out. I am so disappointed with everything. We follow the rules, we do what is right. We do what is in the best interest of our children. Is that rewarded?  Nope. What is rewarded?  A liar, a deceitful, crazy, self harming, suicidal, manipulating, charismatic woman who has not one consequence, not one. She takes the kids out of state. She has a bf who is just as crazy as she is. None of that matters to DHS.  She gets to keep lying and destroying lives. It is unbelievable to me. I seriously fear for my sons life. And DHS is aware of that. But ya, she gets to keep the kids and make false allegations. Where is the freaking accountability here? 

[Panshekay]

Sitting here in shock. I brought my youngest grandson down with me yesterday to play with his cousin. It was our sons birthday last week.  Our yearly tradition is to come down and help him plant his  garden and celebrate his birthday with his son. Today our son got off work and got a call.  He didn't recognize the number. When he answered the phone it was DHS. I have been off by my count... .today he got his 11th complaint so he will not be able to have his son this weekend. DHS would not tell him the complaint but said you have to agree not to pick him up. Our son stood up for himself and said, my mother is in town... .I do not agree. The gal that called said well let me call my manager. She called back stating she could not get a hold of anyone. She told our son if he didn't agree the cops would be called. The heartbreak and devastation is overwhelming. 3 years of hell. Why, why is it the person who is the evil one, who is destroying my grandchildren and son are the ones that get to keep the children.  My GS was so excited we were coming. I usually don't tell him but he was worried that I was coming down last weekend, so he asked me and I told him no, we would celebrate it when he was with his daddy too. Trust me... .I know they are good at what they do. But we are a family with love integrity and patience, but that is running out. I am so disappointed with everything. We follow the rules, we do what is right. We do what is in the best interest of our children. Is that rewarded?  Nope. What is rewarded?  A liar, a deceitful, crazy, self harming, suicidal, manipulating, charismatic woman who has not one consequence, not one. She takes the kids out of state. She has a bf who is just as crazy as she is. None of that matters to DHS.  She gets to keep lying and destroying lives. It is unbelievable to me. I seriously fear for my sons life. And DHS is aware of that. But ya, she gets to keep the kids and make false allegations. Where is the freaking accountability here? 

[ForeverDad]

I'm so sorry to hear that.  And so predictable.  I bet the kid was so happy and mother had to do something to thwart their fun time together.  I would be of a mind to tell the gal that called that I would appear for the exchange, as court order has scheduled it as his time, that I myself would call the police to be present and ask the police officer to file a report that I had been sabotaged again, more than ten times now, and I will go to court asking for make up time and consequences.  However, if even one of those times was seen as coming out supporting the mother, that approach might not work.

Has he pressed the court for make-up time for all these orders by DHS?  She is abusing the whistle-blower laws that protect the accuser but how to convince the court of that?  One point to make is how many are timed to interfere with his special occasions.  Use a list, a calendar or a huge chart.

[Panshekay]

Thanks ForeverDad, I will let my son know, a large chart seems to be a good idea.  It seems like everytime we think we actually take one step forward something happens. I'm glad I brought my younger grandson down with me as he has kept us busy and brought us much joy and laughter during a difficult time. We went out and picked out plants for the garden, painted patio furniture and today will will put the swimming pool back up. I will come back down in 2 weeks to see our GS, but never again tell him I'm coming... .because ya, that's the right way to raise kids... .NOT!   I realize it's never over but truly wonder how long I can last at times, I have two loved ones I worry about... .our Son and GS. Such a constant rollercoaster ride of emotions. Thanks for your support... .I always look forward to your advice. You are a gift of knowledge.

[Thunderstruck]

I know how you feel, we've had CPS called on us several times. That last one was uBPDbm preventing SD from going out of state with us to celebrate her brother's (mine and DH's son) first birthday. It was the 8th time CPS had been called to investigate SD. They ended up writing a scathing report saying that uBPDbm causes the problems and makes poor parenting choices.

It's not fair for the children. It's not fair for the family. And there is little we can do about it. You'd think that we could get justification through the justice system but it is slow and expensive. Very frustrating.

Make sure that your son is getting copies of the reports. If you go and request it you might only get the summary. If the L subpoenas DHS then they can get the full report with the notes from investigations, etc.

We used to hide trips and special events from SD so she wouldn't tell her mom (so uBPDbm wouldn't ruin the occasion by refusing visitation)... .so I get it. Nowadays we state our intentions to uBPDbm. That way when she causes conflict to prevent visitation then we can use that as evidence to the CE/court. The L says "short term loss for a long term gain". It's still not easy though.