Dealing with my own resentment

[Yellowbee]

Hi. I am very frustrated and angry with my partner. I have reached the end of my ability to forgive. I just became aware that all these years of my suffering with this same partner is the result of his BPD.  I hope you can empower me
to be whole again.  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Yellowbee]

I am now dealing with my resentment of my husband telling me off over what seems to be important to him, but if it were me, I would just deal with it. (I am not BPD). He did his usual twisting it all around so it was  my fault, accused me of not letting go of the argument (I have now learned that I must remain calm during his horrible anger outbursts-I'm learning as I am reading more about BPD)
But I am so angry with him and his BPD traits that I cannot talk normally to him now that he is his sweet self again. He was unkind to me one to many times over 41 years of marriage. I am so angry and resentful towards him. What do I do? Any suggestions?
Yellowbee