my BPD Mom and narcissistic Dad

[Proinsias]

All things I learned from them make me crazy, still after more than 60 years I am the one who is crazy. The things I have tried to do to make my parents happy trying to be that good little girl. The things make me miserable and the fear that grew out of my parental relationships, and the poor coping skills I used to deal with them. I want to overcome them.

[Highlander]

Hi Proinsais,

Your not alone. 

My Dear Husband has a BPD & NPD mother and a NPD father too. And Yes, he also went crazy.

Good news is that he found help and has now completely recovered (for him he got BPD). 

The biggest step forward in his journey of recovery was having the moment when he realised (we call it the 'epiphany' that his mother has BPD and NPD and his father has NPD.  Thats when it all made sense for him and he was able to move forward no longer confused by their behavouirs and manipulation on him.

Sad thing is that because he actually did seek help (unlike them) and was diagnosed with BPD, they all use his previous diagnosis against him and when there is any disagreement they quickly jump on him being 'mad', even though we have told them he is now recovered!

Furthermore, he 'apparently' contracted BPD from me when he met me at age 29!  I did attempt to explain to them that their theory was impossible, that BPD is a childhood disorder but they are convinced that their son must have contracted it from me late in adulthood.

Best of luck, but the biggest journey of recognising the dynamics of your parents is now behind you.