Picking a fight

[Caboose]

Hi. My BPD gf and I broke up two weeks ago after about a year and a half as partners. We were together a year and a few months when she moved out of state. Originally, I was to follow but our relationship became more a source of work/pain than pleasure. After the initial break up, and a day or two of finger pointing, we had three days of silence, then reconnected with limited communication. She's been super sweet/super nice until this morning. My brother committed suicide two days ago ... .she's been supportive, available, and kind until this morning when she tried to pick a fight about how much I have been communicating with my father. It was bizarre. She was on her way to meet with her ex regarding their children so I'm sure her stress level was high. We went back and forth twice when I thought, "I'm not going to engage. I'm not going to justify." She stopped because her meeting was about to begin. Okay, so, she'll be back later and she will want to finish this conversation and I don't know how to handle this.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Wutnow32]

Good for you for not engaging. I am sorry to hear about your brother. All I know is that when stressors are high (having to see the ex about the kids) the behaviors escalate. I see it in my wife all the time. Any chance she may have calmed a bit by the time she gets back? Can you redirect to a different topic or activity? Leave so you won't be home?
And, why wouldn't you be communicating with your father after all that's happened? That is kind of bizarre. Maybe you can just ask that?

[Lakebreeze]

I'm so sorry about your brother. That is a tragic loss. I can totally relate. When my brother died in a drowning accident my husband got very angry because I " cared more about my dead brother than him" and was spending too much time with my family. He raged at me the entire day of the funeral. Please take care of yourself during the time of grief.