I think my mom has BPD. Maybe even my dad too, but he's definitely less hurtful

[Loveyourself]

I'm new. 34 yo. Just looking for a sense of community. I think my mom has BPD. Or narcissistic pd, or traits of both. As far as I can remember she was diagnosed with depression but I guess that may have just been a symptom of her BPD. It feels like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around her, unless she is In a good mood. Until recently, I thought I was a selfish daughter but realized that's just a story I've been told over and over again. I'm an only child, which I think doesn't help the situation either. Also, feel like the identified patient with my parents. Like my parents use me as a scapegoat and my mother tries to pin my dad against me. Their love is very conditional. And if they don't approve of a life choice I make, it is made really clear by stonewalling me or shutting me out. It's all kind of sad. I guess the saddest part is that i am only seeing things clearly now. Until recently, I thought we were very close, which is really funny because we couldn't be further apart.

[Kwamina]

Hi Loveyourself

I love your screenname

Welcome to bpdfamily, we have a lot of members here with BPD parents who will be able to relate to you. Having disordered parents can be very tough and at the same time it can also be very difficult to really see what's going in your family when this life is all you have ever known. You have now come to the point that you are starting to realize there is something wrong with the way your parents behave. Did something perhaps happen recently that caused you to look at them differently?

I have older siblings but they are way older than me and for many years I lived alone with my undiagnosed BPD mother. It is very difficult when you are a child alone with disordered parents. You also mention your dad and it seems he also exhibits some quite troubling behavior. Do you think he also has a PD?

Take care

The Board Parrot