1,5 year after breakup

[FraFra85]

Short abstract: my exBPDgf closed with me 1.5 years ago. We had for 2,5 wonderful LDR with few signs of the disease. She told me that she never loved someone so strongly, that I was her special one, etc BPD things... .She was literally the girl of my dreams and this complicated the detachment. One day of big stress she closed with me and she changed attitude forever towards me. 2 days after she already had replacement.


Now I feel much better, I'm back to my life, I meet new people, I fight to change some part of me that I don't like, I started to read book about self improvement and meditation. I still think about her almost every 1/2 days and I'll love her forever. This experience changed my life forever.


It passed months and obviously never saw her again (she live 1500km far), and lot of time passed from last time that I checked her facebook. Today I saw that she changed surname and I watched her profile. I noticed that she have already 3 months kid! (so she was pregnant only after 6/7 months of our breakup, that's insane!). She was engaged 1 year after breakup and she married this month after 1,5y!  She made all very fast.
It's still painful to see these things... .less than 1 year ago but still not easy.
Follow the line of NC. I should remind it to myself! 

[heartandwhole]

Hi FraFra85,

That was pretty fast. I can understand the surprise at discovering this.  . The good news is that you've grown, learned, and changed. I recommend keeping on that path. There are rich rewards to be had, in my experience, from continuing your path of self-discovery.

I also recommend feeling your feelings about this news, and you don't have to take any action on them. Keep the focus on you and enjoy how far you have come. 

How's the meditation going?

heartandwhole

[FraFra85]

Yes I continue on this path. Most of the days are good, some less. When I imagine a paradise it should be something similar to mirroring phase with a girl that is healty and that could sustain it forever.
About my ex and her wedding I know that facebook is only a facade. Everybody there is happy and show what they want to show. He will be the next victim soon or later. Anyway I love and I'll love her a lot anyway and forever.
About meditation I'm doing almost every 2 days... .I read some good books and I continue to read others. Like everything it takes time and pratice to master it.
I should learn to love strongly myself and find happiness inside me instead search outside somewhere. If I should create it inside me... .no one will take it like pwBPD do.
I undestod that I have some issues and I'm trying to smooth and solve them. It's like climb a mountain... .but I'm trying to do it!

[heartandwhole]

I undestod that I have some issues and I'm trying to smooth and solve them. It's like climb a mountain... .but I'm trying to do it!

I understood that, too. That is the best thing you can do for yourself. It does feel like climbing a mountain! But step by step we make our way to the top. You can do it. We're climbing with you. 

heartandwhole

[roberto516]

My philosophy teacher/tattoo artist gave me an interesting idea when I told him it was a mountain I had to climb. He gave me the analogy of a deep stream that you tried to wade through. Sometimes if you look to your left or right you'll see rocks that can take you across much easier. It led me to realize that even if it looks like a mountain to me, which it does, I might just have to look around for the path that takes me easily up

[lovenature]

Follow the line of NC. I should remind it to myself!

Great advice!

PWBPD are capable of making up their own reality to fit their current emotion of the moment, to the point of seeing and believing things that never happened, this is how they move on so quickly.