I don't know where to start. My mother had a rage personality disorder.

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I was raised by a raging changeable mother. It has affected my whole life. I'm 75 so there was nothing they could do for her in the 40's, and everyone was afraid of her. I tried to survive by thinking & planning ahead, but although I was kind and a nurse, I now have two children with rage & I be always feared abandonment. Now I'm very sick with fibromyalgia. My relationships seemed to never work no matter how I tried and now I've lost friends, family, health, career & I may be the cause. I didn't know I could pass it on. There's so much more & Ive had psychiatric help but nothing seems to help. I'm damaged & may have damaged my children. I'm totally lost. What to do? Living alone but everyone HAS abandoned me because of the fibromyalgia . I tried my best to survive & crest a happy safe family, but chose all the wrong people. I'm desolate.

[OrphanAnnie]

I was raised by a raging changeable mother. It has affected my whole life. I'm 75 so there was nothing they could do for her in the 40's, and everyone was afraid of her. I tried to survive by thinking & planning ahead, but although I was kind and a nurse, I now have two children with rage & I be always feared abandonment. Now I'm very sick with fibromyalgia. My relationships seemed to never work no matter how I tried and now I've lost friends, family, health, career & I may be the cause. I didn't know I could pass it on. There's so much more & Ive had psychiatric help but nothing seems to help. I'm damaged & may have damaged my children. I'm totally lost. What to do? Living alone but everyone HAS abandoned me because of the fibromyalgia . I tried my best to survive & crest a happy safe family, but chose all the wrong people. I'm desolate.

[wendydarling]

Hi OrphanAnnie and welcome to bpdfamily

I'm glad you found us and sorry to hear what you've been dealing with and you are very sick with fibromyalgia. As you read members here understand, you are not alone.  Are you in touch with your children?

WD