New to forum

[PeaceHarmony]

Hi, I am not sure what kind of support I need... .maybe just to know that I am not alone. I suspect that my husband of almost 20 years had PBD although he has not been officially diagnosed. All the symptoms I read about in multiple places match up and pretty much describe him. And I certainly have been walking on eggshells for as long as I have been with him. I didn't grow up with any mental illness in my family so I have no tools for coping and just try to figure it out as I go along. Lately he got off a med that he was taking for 3 years, and life has been hell since. His rage and verbal abuse are worse than ever, his mood swings completely unpredictable, everyone is against him at work, and I "don't support him, don't understand him, controlling and being a victim". Nothing he says makes any sense when he is in a mood. But when he is in a "normal" mood, I ask myself if the other stuff has ever even happened... .I told him I can't live like that anymore and he signed up for a mental health clinic that offers DBT. It's a year commitment for a once a week group, and individual therapy. Some days I am hopeful that it will work, however, I am really at wits end and most days I just want to pack up and leave. But we have a house and two teens and for the kids and financially it's not so simple. Any advise or words of encouragement are highly appreciated!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[JoeBPD81]

Welcome to the family!
DBT is supposed to be the best thing for BPD. It is great that he signed for it. You are certainly not alone,  a quick scan through this board will show you many similar stories. Things can get better. You can learn a lot of new tools here, and every tool opens a new door for improvement. For you, for the relationship, and for him.

I was at first overwhelmed by the amount of information and a bit hopeless, but things are falling in place after just 3-4 months, and I feel more confident and hopeful than before for a long time.

Just start with the basic tools, and let it sink. Read one article here, watch one

 video there,  post your concerns... .and in no time everything starts to make sense and you'll feel morein control of your life again.