Hey Hope1234: Welcoming to the Community!I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your dad. My father had some strong BPD traits. He passed recently and my mom passed 4 months after he did. The stress caused my sister to split me black and exhibit enough BPD traits to unofficially qualify as a high-functioning BPD. That led me to counseling and on my own journey to understand the puzzle of BPD.
You might find the Survivor's Guide, in the right-hand margin helpful. When I was in discovery mode, my therapist suggested I read the book, "Stop Walking on Eggshells". I think it is a newer version of "The Essential Family Guide. . .". There is a workbook available for "Stop Walking of Eggshells". I got the Kindle version.
I watched him turn from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde and verbally abuse my husband.
Did something happen before your father became abusive? A difference of opinion on something? invalidation?
Has your dad been treated for any mental health issue in the past? Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, etc.?
Unfortunately, we can't change those with BPD or BPD traits. The only thing we can do is set boundaries and make things better for ourselves by the way we interact with them and react to them. When you are ready, there are lots of helpful communication strategies and tactics that can be helpful to you. The "Lessons" thread, at the top of the thread line up, and the "Tools Menu" within the large green band at the top of the page are good places to start.
