Conflicted - Facebook throws curve ball

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So I'm now 12 weeks NC with my friend; I blocked him on Facebook which he remained on for about 2-3 weeks afterwards posting weird bios about himself but then disappeared off it altogether.  I was going through my privacy settings on Facebook last night and noticed my list of blocked users was lower than normal and noticed he was no longer on it.  I know I didn't unblock him so I put his name in search and up he pops.  I tried blocking him by his email address but it said no users found.  So it appears he's set up another account with a different email address.  Not sure if this was deliberate as he knew he wouldn't be blocked that way?   He hasn't blocked me yet.

So I'm wondering if this is a way of him hoping I'll make contact with him.  I don't plan on doing so as when he was angry with me he said he'd have me done for harassment if I contacted him again.  I'm wondering if he's had a change of heart and is hoping I'll see his profile and make contact and apologise to him.

I'm so conflicted as i was so angry when he said he couldn't meet with me yet again but since finding out he was telling me the truth why he couldn't meet I am open to being friends again.

Am I ready too much in to this?  It's just weird how he was blocked but now is visible but not found by his previous email address.  

[insideoutside]

So I'm now 12 weeks NC with my friend; I blocked him on Facebook which he remained on for about 2-3 weeks afterwards posting weird bios about himself but then disappeared off it altogether.  I was going through my privacy settings on Facebook last night and noticed my list of blocked users was lower than normal and noticed he was no longer on it.  I know I didn't unblock him so I put his name in search and up he pops.  I tried blocking him by his email address but it said no users found.  So it appears he's set up another account with a different email address.  Not sure if this was deliberate as he knew he wouldn't be blocked that way?   He hasn't blocked me yet.

So I'm wondering if this is a way of him hoping I'll make contact with him.  I don't plan on doing so as when he was angry with me he said he'd have me done for harassment if I contacted him again.  I'm wondering if he's had a change of heart and is hoping I'll see his profile and make contact and apologise to him.

I'm so conflicted as i was so angry when he said he couldn't meet with me yet again but since finding out he was telling me the truth why he couldn't meet I am open to being friends again.

Am I ready too much in to this?  It's just weird how he was blocked but now is visible but not found by his previous email address.  

[Pretty Woman]

Don't read into it.

I am a firm believer that as long as your account is "private" blocking really is childish.

I am NOT calling you childish. I've blocked before too, but in the greater scheme of things so what if they see your profile and main pic? If they don't have access to your page they won't know all your goings on. Sometimes blocking is a game to see who will break first. It's silly really.

Don't overthink what he is doing or why. You give HIM power when you do this. It shouldn't matter what he is doing. He was unhealthy for you, you realized this and removed yourself from the situation. I think it's natural for all of us to wonder down the line what is happening in the lives of past friends and past lovers but don't sit and overthink why he is doing what he does because you will never know without asking him and do you really want to open up that can of worms?

It sounds exactly like you said, he created a new account with another email address you don't know. You should still be able to click on his profile and block if you wish but then he will know you have seen it and that it affects you enough to block him.

I wouldn't give him the power or the satisfaction but that's just me. What are you thinking of doing?

[insideoutside]

You should still be able to click on his profile and block if you wish but then he will know you have seen it and that it affects you enough to block him.

I wouldn't give him the power or the satisfaction but that's just me. What are you thinking of doing?

Yeah I'm not going to block him as like you say he will know I've seen his new profile.  My account is literally just my profile and cover photos, there is zero information on it but I know he used to look at it regular and I know it was childish to block him but I was so angry that I wanted to eradicate him from my life.   The last time we spoke he said he had deleted my phone number and email so do wonder if this is a pi$$ poor attempt at trying to re-engage.

I'm not thinking of doing anything with the threat of being reported for harassment over me.

[Pretty Woman]

Well legally he can't do anything if you block him but I am glad to hear you aren't reacting and posting here instead.

I am blocked from my ex's profile but you can get around that by getting a fake profile. It's stupid to block because if someone really wants to look at your stuff they can.

I know my ex still posts "overjoyed" pics of her and my replacement in hopes I will react. She knows from past breakups we both had fake accounts.

When I think back to those times I realize the level of my immaturity and how we fed each other. I have sure learned a lot about my actions through the years, especially since this relationship ended.

I wouldn't think any more about the new profile. People are curious beings he may just want to see if you are still on FB. You mentioned he can't see anything important so I wouldn't waste any sleep here. Focus on you and what you want. You don't want to re-engage, correct? If so, I would just keep busy doing other things and not waste another thought on him.

I know easier said than done but you sound on track!

[hotncold]

   The last time we spoke he said he had deleted my phone number and email.

Wow am i ever amazed at the similar tactics used by pwBPD. I too did the block after he told me this exactly... .I got fed up with the constant discard. But then do feel a bit childish for having done it. Fact is it was something i wanted to do a while back but didnt. The thing about the block is that its much more difficult to then change your mind. I did it because i have tightenned security settings only to then loosen them again and give him access to my life... .And he uses my preferences, likes, desires, interests and evidence of my having a good time to cause pain, drama. So i figure the less info he has about me the less power he has to manipulate me with my dreams and aspirations and all that. It actually feel like a shadow has lifted since i blew him out of my social media world. Phew. I still see some of his exes making posts that are directed at him ( moralising type life quotes). So i think this indirect communication he practices is highly unhealthy and blocking him at least put an end to that.

[Rayban]

Facebook games of blocking and unblocking is definitely one of those, "do they all have the same playbook?"

Don't react in anyway. Indifference should be your goal here.

[Doughboy]

Yes it is a game.  When my uBPDexfiance said she was done and to never contact her again I cut all electronic ties.  About a month later I sent a "friend request" on facebook to extend an olive branch.  We actually talked on Memorial Day and I mentioned that she should probably decline that request.  She said she saw it, was actually in facebook during the call and that she would.  As you can imagine it is still sitting there waiting for her to accept or decline, .

Makes no difference to me either way and to be honest I am curious how long it will sit there pending.  She said we would be best to never communicate again so I am letting her have the ball on that one.  My opinion is that the longer it sits there the "weaker" she looks in her position.  Same situation as an ATM card of mine she has.

She has had the ATM card, that is attached to my Savings account only... .$250 limit withdrawal a day through an ATM only, for about 15 months.  I gave it to her in case of emergencies because she is poor with money.  She only used it a couple of times when we were together for around $350 total.  When we split she said she would get it back to me, we are 3 hrs apart.  I told her to keep it in case she needed the safety net down the road or to shred it as I did not need it.  On Memorial Day she reiterated that she needed to get it back to me still.  I again told her to keep it for emergencies or shred it.  She claimed she will never use it because we are apart. 

Now I download my bank transactions into Quicken every day so I will know if she uses it well before she can clean me out, .  I am, perversely, curious to she if she will ever swallow her pride and use it at some point.  If she does she will know that I know... .

Sometimes the games are painful, sometimes the games are blah, sometimes the games are a little fun.  They are ALWAYS games though.

[insideoutside]

And he's gone again.  This time been on Facebook 6 days and has disappeared off it again.  Was it because I didn't reach out?  Was it for my benefit?  Maybe it was for someone else's?  But if it was for someone else's benefit surely he would had signed in with his email address that I've blocked rather than creating a new one.

I dunno.  Very strange behaviour; something I don't think I'll ever truly 'get'.