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Author Topic: Adult son with BPD  (Read 394 times)
pissst
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: June 10, 2017, 10:11:20 AM »

After 24 yrs of being misdiagosed, my son has learned that he suffers from BPD. On his own, alone and homeless in CA, he has sought out treatment (he applied and recieved medical assistance). Since Feb 2017, he has been seeing a state psychiatrist and psychologist and has been talking and talking every time he goes in, which is now 2× a week from 1× a week. They kept telling him that he is going to recieve DBT but on his last visit, they said they were not going to do it. My son has done extensive research on his own and he thinks because he is homeless, living in his car, that he won't be supported. I have begged him to move into my home in Nevada but he won' t do it because he wants to stay near his 13 yr old daughter. He can't leave her as he feels that she needs him right now. He is a great father to her but has no relationship with his daughters mother, which is very stressful to him. It breaks my heart that he is out there in CA, living in his car, trying on his own to get some help and now it is to the point where he doesn't feel  he belongs in the world . I don't know what I can do anymore as I don't have $15000 a week to have him be treated at a live-in treatment center. He has no family out there except his daughter whom he sees as much as he can and has a good relationship with, a father who can't understand his predicament, let alone his disorder, well meaning friends who also don't really understand but mean well. Every day I am sick with worry. I call and/or text him every day and send him whatever money I can and spend sometimes 2-3 hours on the phone with him. Sometimes he rages, sometimes he seems ok but knowing what I know and hear him say, I know he is far from ok. He tries to work and does on most days. Some days he is just too emotionally wrought and paralyzed by his emotiins and thoughts. I don't know where to turn to help him get better. I do what I can but it's hard since we are not in the same state, he won't come here, I am at a loss as to what to do. He knows he needs help and is so agreeable to whatever needs to be done for himself, except leave his daughter. If there is anything I've missed here, please enlighten me. I would go out there to CA if I could but I have responsibilities here and can't just pack up and leave. Help!
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Mutt
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Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2017, 11:08:38 AM »

Hi pissst,

Welcome

I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that your son is going through a tough time, I understand how nobody seems to get it because they can't relate to it, how old is his D? How much visitation does he have? It has to be incredibly hard to work when you're in survival mode, he's rejecting moving in with, how about moving in until he gets back on his feet? He could try going to a therapy DBT group where everyone shares a cost of the T?
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