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Author Topic: Off my chest  (Read 335 times)
Emotions
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 208


« on: June 16, 2017, 07:30:37 AM »

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IM SO SICK OF DEALING WITH MY EMOTIONS! Thank you, I had to get that off my chest.
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Train your mind to be calm in every situation
Like an island that no flood can overwhelm
In these times we must act like the eye of the hurricane
"It takes a nation of millions to hold us back" (public enemy)
roberto516
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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2017, 08:02:41 AM »

I could have posted the same thing every day for the past 6 months my friend  

I have finally forced myself to download an app called insight timer. My therapist suggested it. The reason that I refused at first was because my ex is very "spiritual" on the outside at least . But you can type in things like "anger, anxiety, sadness, grief" and there are specific meditations as short as 3 minutes to as long as 20 minutes. I have to say, it's been the most helpful thing for me to accept feelings my emotions and embracing them.

I don't know about your situation, but with  me I find that what I think are my emotions are actually just me ruminating. For example, I might be sad but in my head I'm thinking "I miss her, I wish we could be together, I'm so sad. I wonder what she's doing, etc." I really have to bring myself back and think "I'm feeling sad. Why am I sad? Because I lost something close to me. That's okay to be sad about that. But it's something I can accept." Something that little can really help me because my focus is on my emotion now and not the external situation. That can ease up the emotions somewhat. They might come back 2 minutes later but it's just a battle sometimes.

Chin up my friend. Keep venting and sharing. What emotion is it that is troubling you the most right now?
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“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”
Emotions
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 208


« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2017, 08:10:46 AM »

I appreciate Roberto... .that is wise and it was calming to realize that yes I am feeling x,y,z and those are ok feelings to feel. Realize why I am feeling them and it helps pass them through... .let's say I'm dealing with a number of emotions. It is easier to say that I a man still working on feeling happy and joyful. I'll get there someday. Thanks again man, any light is appreciated!
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Train your mind to be calm in every situation
Like an island that no flood can overwhelm
In these times we must act like the eye of the hurricane
"It takes a nation of millions to hold us back" (public enemy)
Harley Quinn
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2017, 01:19:18 PM »

Hi Emotions,

How did you feel when you posted the aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh?  A bit better, I hope?  Is there somewhere you could go and do that verbally without waking all the neighbours or having emergency services alerted?   Smiling (click to insert in post)  Sometimes a good release is worth it's weight in gold!  Sounds like you've got some emotional overwhelm and fighting against the feelings can sometimes make them stick around longer.  

Excerpt
It is easier to say that I a man still working on feeling happy and joyful. I'll get there someday.

You sure will.  Unravelling all the stuff going on inside can feel like such a lengthy process and it would be great to miss out a few steps, wouldn't it?  Suppose we'll all get the benefit from this work though and the satisfaction of having achieved our goal in the end. 

I find that when I have feelings I think I shouldn't, like 'I feel down - I should feel happy', or, 'I feel angry and I want to be calm' I'm sort of battling against myself.  Over time I've found that to think, 'OK, so I'm feeling mad right now, and this is how that feels in my body, which is just how it is', and just being with that, makes the feeling pass more quickly.    

One of the principles of mindfulness is compassionate acceptance.  If you're interested in checking out any free downloads as well as the app roberto mentioned, here's a link to a guy I can recommend who focuses on self compassion and kindness.  I have used some of these practices myself to great effect.  If you decide to give it a whirl I hope it's helpful.

https://chrisgermer.com/meditations/

Love and light x    
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We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.
Emotions
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 208


« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2017, 06:57:56 PM »

It felt a little better... .I'm glad I wrote it. I think I am fortunately/unfortunately (time will tell) accepting that she is gone for awhile anyway... .long enough for me to find myself and my life again. I can handle this situation as long as I don't get reminded of her. Unfortunately I live in the same house we lived in for 6 years and drive by a bunch of places we used to go. BUT I am making progress and accepting that I can like myself at least as much without her as I can without her. Each day that goes by I realize I am starting to see liking myself even more without her probably. Anyway thanks for asking HQ it helps that you care.
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Train your mind to be calm in every situation
Like an island that no flood can overwhelm
In these times we must act like the eye of the hurricane
"It takes a nation of millions to hold us back" (public enemy)
roberto516
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 782


« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2017, 07:04:50 PM »

BUT I am making progress and accepting that I can like myself at least as much without her as I can without her. Each day that goes by I realize I am starting to see liking myself even more without her probably.

If you could share some of that positive outlook with me I'd really appreciate it . Seriously though, through all this pain you continue to post and comment about how you are putting yourself first and really doing your best to get back a better mindset. It's really admirable and it takes a lot of courage. I know you know that as well but it's something I wanted to comment on. Your outlook in this situation is something I am working towards as well  everyday and you're an inspiration in that regard.  
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“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”
Emotions
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 208


« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2017, 07:24:53 PM »

Thanks much. I feel the same about you. I see you going through all the appropriate emotions yourself. I sometimes feel anger, and sadness towards my ex... .those feelings lead me to envy and jealousy of others. I KNOW that envy and jealousy come from the "dark side of the force" and I refuse to give in to them... .I have always been a light side of the force kind of guy... .so when I start to feel negative I go outside rain or shine and talk to my thoughts until I'm blue in the face... .one REALLY has to go beyond what they think they are capable of to get through some of the rough times... .I walk a straight and narrow road and It has given me self respect and self knowledge back. When I can boo hoo about my ex (who remember is not thinking of me anymore and in fact loves another) only me can stop me from realizing and accepting the truth. The truth that Maybe I'm not the best guy for her. I have also tried to think and remember that when I looked at her with love, which was 10,000 times probably, she would reply with I love you, but it kind of felt like I love that you love me so much. So I'm realizing the fact that I love that I loved someone so much. did she feel the same way? I am starting to think although she probably said it to me 10,000 times too (or more), she really loved feeling that I was giving her attention. So the truth is she DOES like this guy more than me, I'm not the best thing since sliced bread, but I am true to myself and genuine. Sure I have regrets, but I will take them with me and learn that I would never do them again. As long as I can look myself in the mirror and know that I'm not better than anyone else, but I am better than I was yesterday I will fill my goodness and energy up drop by drop until I fill it up. It won't come overnight, but drip by drip, little by little I continue to make myself proud everyday. I hope you do the same, and anyone else who reads enough of my posts to care... .thanks for caring Roberto, you have always inspired me too.
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Train your mind to be calm in every situation
Like an island that no flood can overwhelm
In these times we must act like the eye of the hurricane
"It takes a nation of millions to hold us back" (public enemy)
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