Dealing with a great lot of emotional pain

[FoxC]

I need your advice, I'm really lost.

INTRO: So the borderline guy that appeared in my life not so long ago has some real difficulties in his life (the BPD is just a cherry on the cake). I was helping, supporting, surely too much of a rescuer, the only person at his reach. Otherwise he has a nice and interesting personality and charms that melted me. We developed a romantic friendship. I won't take my feelings back, but seeing the complexity of the situation I don't want to take it further either. I don't want to urge. And just to say, I have my own difficulties, too.

I have learned to deal with a lot of emotional stress lately while learning about BPD. I can manage his rages and his splitting better. I can cope with some of his silence attacks. No, he won't be considering to undergo some (more) therapy, you can forget advising it. Neither would I.

ISSUE: I'm afraid he might be having some suicidal thoughts. Sometimes after some small incident (in the context of all... ) he's cutting off all contacts with me and goes in silence. I don't mind if he's wanting just some silence and peace and space from me at that moment (he won't tell me), but I can't help myself being anxious about his possible actions. I have no idea if he's in danger or not. And that makes me feel sick.

I could bear the romance ending, friendship... .painfully... But I 100% care for this person. Today he had a really bad day and I was some last drop. Complete silence. I'm lost. Sent him a lot of messages. No response.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi FoxC,

Welcome to the boards ,

Your story sounds similar to many of ours. We have a lot of workshops on the right side of the page to help us learn more about our pwBPD, our relationship dynamics, and some tools to better communicate with our pwBPD. Sadly, when someone disappears and wants to be left alone, there isn't much we can do to stop them from doing that. During those times, it's important to let them know that you care for them and that you are available for them if needed, but most of the time they just need their space.

You mentioned that you felt like you were possibly rescuing a little too much. Here is a link to one of our workshops on "Are you supporting or enabling?"

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95263.0