small victory

[soundofmusicgirl]

we just had a temp order hearing as BPDxw did not want the children coming to us this summer. The judge denied her request

BPDxw could not help herself and point out that "the children are not comfortable with stepmom"

[Panda39]

Yay! That is good news.

Now it's off to the the "wicked stepmother" for the summer, where they get to see their dad, be themselves, relax and have fun... .that's just horrible! 

Panda39

[soundofmusicgirl]

yes, the wicked witch of the west

oh another small victory. The T from hells former employer finally followed the court order and supplied all session notes to the court (us). So now at least we have records from last June - Jan of this year. Now T from hell needs to comply with current court order and sent over the most recent session notes. Which i am sure she will refuse to do. The read of what we were supplied so far has been very very interesting.

[snazzyjazz]

Yay for the victory! Gosh, those little jabs are annoying, aren't they? This week, uBPDx is saying we didn't give D6 enough warning to process that I'm living with them & her parents will never get back together... .she's 6 and wants everyone under the same roof and that's natural, and it'll never go away, and it's always been like that; the parents have never lived together and have been separate since SD6's birth and I've been living with them for 6 months and she's been close to me for 3 years... .really just a reflection of uBPDx's feelings

[Thunderstruck]

Her request was very unreasonable... .not surprising it was denied.  Enjoy the visit and enjoy the reading of those notes. Does that mean the kids get a break from the T from hell? I hope BPDmom hasn't riled them up too much to the point where they act out at your place.

[bunny4523]

Interesting... .we are going to mediation next week because my husband wants 2 consecutive weeks in the summer for family vacations since the exUDBPD mom can't seem to find one day to trade with us so that we can have a full weekend.  Currently, we have custody one week on and one week off with exchanges on Sundays... .right in the middle of the day.  Very inconvenient.  Didn't used to be a problem because she would allow the kids to come back late on Sunday if they had a weekend trip planned.  Seems like since I've been in the picture and we got serious... .it is unacceptable to modify the court order.
 
Hope we get good news that the judge honors the 2 consecutive weeks in the summer for vacationing with each parent or mediators recommends it.

It's crazy how such little things turn into such a big deal... .tired... .
Bunny

[bunny4523]

ok so we had mediation and there were definately some flying monkeys.  I couldn't believe what happened.  First of all, she agreed to everything we asked for and acted as if it was her idea from the begining and she had been doing these things all along.  BUT while crying and yelling obsenities about all the things my husband and I had supposedly done to her.  She even brought up their marriage and how he treated her.  She just bashed him and was condescending right in front of the mediator.  I was really surprised that she allowed herself to lose it like that in front of another person.  She must have really been struggling with the anxiety from court to go off like that.  I actually felt very sad to hear how unstable she had been and can only imagine all the turmoil she was must have been going through internally.

This agreement was just to replace a very vague visitation order to make things more clear and less room for games/fighting.  It's not like we were trying to change the % of visitation, just lock down drop off and pick up times and put a holiday schedule into effect.  Just standard stuff but you'd think we were trying to cut off her arm the way she reacted.  It must have really threatened her allusion of how bad we are and how good she is when reading it in black and white.  I don't know... .I just know it was something very simple that could have been agreed to in a simple conversation yet... .she refused to. Then maybe the facts on paper didn't fit in with her feeling-facts so it through her into a frenzy.

Just so sad because it doesn't need to be like this.  As much stuff that they put us through... .they put themselves through even more. 

Bunny

 

[Panda39]

Hi bunny4523,

Glad you were able to get the arrangement you needed and sorry you had to go through the theatrics to get there.

Panda39

[GaGrl]

Bunny's example is a situation most of us have experienced, and my DH is really better at handling those situations with his uNPD/BPD ex than I am.

It's really a matter of getting past the PD need for drama to the focus on achieving your objective. If you can tune out the ancillary drama (blah, blah, blah... .) and keep your conversation and focus on your end game, you can get through these interactions with the minimum stress (proviso =stress as related to a PD).

I've had to learn this, interaction after interaction.