uBPDexgf self proclaimed spirituality. Anyone else deal with this?

[Fishmedic]

Hey all,

I’ve noticed reading endless threads, there are some common aspects, notably about the BPD person claiming their spirituality, or something outside of themselves. It’s almost as if they are admitting their disorder, but instead of doing anything to rectify that they have an issue, they put it onto something entirely outside of themselves.

I’ll give a little background about my uBPDexgf. And don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for what I did learn from her, or at least the basics, so I could develop my own beliefs as far as spirituality. Being a non religious person all my life, I now would consider myself quite spiritual, and I know she helped me develop that. But it never added up. I always thought to myself, “you’re the angriest spiritual person I’ve ever met”. She was all into arch angels, crystals, energy, LOA etc etc, but always had such a bizarre idea of what it all was. She claimed that she could feel negative energy (empath), and that spirits were always contacting her, hence her drug use. After her mom passed, she told me how her mom would come and visit her, and she could see and talk to her mom. I always took it with a grain of salt, and I know her history of drug abuse likely could be causing her to believe she could communicate with spirits. She’d always make comments like, “I’m a witch, I have special powers”, “I feel other peoples pain so intensely I can’t deal with it”, “I’m from a completely different planet and I’m not supposed to be here”, and “people don’t understand me, no one understands me”, which would lead to self pity and substance abuse. It was really difficult for me to deal with, because I always did my best to understand, and tried to support her even if I didn’t believe what she was saying. If I ever tried to call her on the bullschit, there was hell to pay, and the anger was volatile. It was hard, because she was basically admitting that she was the problem, couldn’t get along with others as no one could understand her, yet instead of being realistic like she could work on herself to change things, she would default to the fact that she was different and the rest of us were all the problem. Another one was she truly believes she is an “Indigo Child”, and thats why she is so different.

She discarded me the week of Mothers day, instantly into a new relationship with someone else. I contacted her once after about getting my clothes and things back that she wore home from my house the week before. She started a fight, denied she was at my house the week before, as if her reality is completely different than mine, and then her new “soulmate” was texting me on her phone, telling me if I wanted to speak to her, I had to contact him, as he knows how abusive, manipulative and damaged I am etc etc. I checked her instagram about a week later, moment of weakness, and it’s all pictures of them together, one of him where she goes on about how he’s her soulmate, her mother sent him from the other side, the perfect man, the best man she’s ever met, a fellow indigo child she is going to save the world with etc etc.
I’m still in the process of detaching, some days better than others, no contact for 6weeks now, going on 7, but just curious if anyone else dealt with something similar? Basically admitting they are disordered, but unwilling to do anything about it because it’s easier to be the victim and say everyone else is the issue.

[Helplessly]

Yes.  My ex called herself an empath.  She would cry when a stranger told a sad story.  The last time I was in her home over a moth ago, I noticed a couple of books on developing psychic powers.

She also said she takes walks and talks with her father every day.  Her father died 8 years ago.

Last week her car pulled up next to mine at a red light  and she rolled down her window to say hello.  She said she knew she was going to see me that morning.  I asked her how.  She said her psychic abilities are developing at a fast rate.

[Fishmedic]

Lol, sure we didn't date the same girl? Seems like we had a very similar type of BPD girl in our lives. My ex had books on developing psychic powers, had conversations with her mother claming "she came to visit me again", she would "bless" her door everytime she left her apartment,  thinking it would prevent a fire or robbery, and wanted to spend 150$ on a magic wand she saw at the market to cast her spells. During past breakups, she would text me about a week later, asking if i was ok, as she could sense I was upset. Yah, i was upset, she had a personality disorder she refused to acknowledge, and instead self medicated with drugs, alcohol and god knows what else, raged at me over the smallest thing, made me worry constantly, and generally made my life hell. 
Yet her me I am, posting on an internet forum while she's madly in love with someone she's known for all of 7wks... .I wish there was a fast forward button so more time could pass and I could shake these attachments.

[Helplessly]

Lol, sure we didn't date the same girl? Seems like we had a very similar type of BPD girl in our lives. My ex had books on developing psychic powers, had conversations with her mother claming "she came to visit me again", she would "bless" her door everytime she left her apartment,  thinking it would prevent a fire or robbery, and wanted to spend 150$ on a magic wand she saw at the market to cast her spells. During past breakups, she would text me about a week later, asking if i was ok, as she could sense I was upset. Yah, i was upset, she had a personality disorder she refused to acknowledge, and instead self medicated with drugs, alcohol and god knows what else, raged at me over the smallest thing, made me worry constantly, and generally made my life hell. 
Yet her me I am, posting on an internet forum while she's madly in love with someone she's known for all of 7wks... .I wish there was a fast forward button so more time could pass and I could shake these attachments.

Yes my ex is in love and idolizes her new man like she did me 18 months ago.  I chalked up all of the empath crap and ghost talk to some sort of cute kookiness.  Never again. I will not date a woman who talks to the dead. Jesus. I saw the signs. In the end she went on meds for depression and anxiety and her empath spirit became annoyingly overwhelming. It started to become embarrassing being around stable people because she would crowd people's personal space. Gave alarmingly long hugs to people she just met. She started to kind of look like a witch. What the heck WAS I THINKING? 

I think they start to believe they have powers from beyond based on the impression they leave on people's lives, namely their exes

[hopealways]

Yes mine claimed to be spiritual also. But her spirituality lasted minutes only, it was fleeting like everything else about her.  It's part of their "unstable self image" which is one of the BPD characteristics. Quite sad really, I know deep down they probably want to be well.

My BPDx often told me she was "not well" and a "troubled girl". This was before I knew about BPD. I should have listened to her warnings.

[RedPill]

I always thought to myself, “you’re the angriest spiritual person I’ve ever met”.

Bingo!

My ustbxBPDw was into yoga, astrology, runes, and crystals. The yoga gave her some direction ... .for a while. I think the others were there to try to give some order to her chaos.
--
RP

[gettingoverit]

Wow... I wonder if this is just a BPD trait. I have been separated from my uBPDxgf for 6 years this past April. I had blocked her until recently from Facebook. When I unblocked her about three weeks ago (I finally thought I was not going to let her control what I do and if she wanted to FB stalk me, that was her problem), I have to admit I checked out her FB page. I had a really good laugh because she is now trying to sell herself as this In touch with herself, vegan, pot smoking, antivaxer, environmentalist, wanting to live off the grid, spiritual new age guru. Now I know the ex friend she cheated on me with and left me for was into some of that stuff, but my ex has taken it to a new level. At first I laughed out loud because it was so ridiculous compared to who she was with me and the things she valued (spending money like it was growing on trees, designer purses, designer anything, living large etc.). Then I got mad because I thought that this woman has absolutely no shame. She is unrecognizable, a complete fraud. It seems to me that when high functioning BPD's become  "spiritual" they are trying to compensate for something or avoid something. Perhaps cover up the fact that they feel so crappy about themselves all of the time, or trying to hide from all the crappy things that they have done to others. Either way its complete BS. They wouldn't have the foggiest idea what introspection looks like and they certainly do not have the capacity to address what is lurking underneath without some serious counselling. No amount of spiritual enlightenment can cover up who and what they are.