Where to start?

[knackered]

Hello!   *Hi*

How can I help my husband, if he won't even help himself?

He hasn't been formally diagnosed. I've taken him to the Dr., he's been referred to a psyc by the Dr. He goes twice, then gives up. Doesn't go again. Back to the Dr, another referral, goes twice, doesn't go again. And so it goes on.

The Jeckyll and Hyde behaviour is wearing me thin. We all walk on egg shells. I'm miserable, isolated and lonely. I don't know where my old self has gone  I'm worried for my children. He moved in with me and my 4 kids five years ago. The eldest 2 left. Third wants to go (or wants husband to go), and fourth has decided to spend more time with her Dad. This breaks my heart.

Ironically, husband's kids don't want anything to do with him, except for putting their hands out for $s. I suspect it's because of his behaviour when he lived with them. His ex-wife has mentioned his behaviour briefly to me, but we don't get time alone to be able to discuss it further.

I'm usually a happy, upbeat, positive person. Now I'm struggling to smile. He's taking me with him on his downward spiral. I find it difficult to even speak to my friends because every thinks "he's such a nice guy". They wouldn't believe me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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[Tattered Heart]

Hi knackered,

So sorry that you are feeling so beat down in your relationship. It's hard to maintain being positive when you have to guard yourself constantly. You'll find a lot of support here. Even if your husband won't get counseling, can you get help for yourself? I know that has really helped me when I start to feel myself getting depressed.