Saw my ex before and now I feel awful.

[In a bad way]

I was in a taxi and she was walking down the street, first time I've seen her for 13 months.
I was doing OK, now I feel like s***.
I'm too freaked out and depressed to write anymore at his point.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi In a bad way,

That must have been a shock to your system.  When you're able to share, tell us how you're doing.  What did it feel like to see her?  13 months is a long time.  When I saw my ex for the first time since the split I froze and my heart was pounding out of my chest.  It was hard to label the emotion.  I felt a mixture of elation in seeing him (abuse amnesia) anxiety and deep sadness.  It was a very confusing experience emotionally which left me badly shaken. 

However I later (in time) felt strengthened by the fact I'd seen him and got it out of the way.  From the sounds of it, this has brought up lots of thoughts for you.  As you said, you've been doing well so try to remember that.  You can continue to do well after this.  It is just a challenge you've to overcome.  Be kind and compassionate towards yourself.

Love and light x 

[Fishmedic]

Hey in a bad way. 
13 months, thats something to be proud of. I can totally understand though how just seeing her sets off the trigger. It'll be 2 months tomorrow for me of NC, my exgf jumped ship with her new soulmate around Morhers Day, didn't tell me of course, happened to see them together. Regardless, i also happened to see her randomly this past Tuesday at the gym. We didnt speak, her behaviour was bizarre, enraged, but wouldn't even look at me. Needless to say, i had a full body reaction. I dont even know what emotion was dominant. It was like excitement, fear, pain, anxiety all wrapped into one. Luckily i had my first Therapy appointment that same day. Funny how things work out. I was drained the 2 days after however, like it thrashed my nervous system. Just as i was starting to think i may never see her again, beginning to be ok with it, then it all comes flooding back. 
All you can do is just keep fighting the good fight. Are you doing any form of therapy right now?